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Band 6.5

The table shows the worldwide market share of the mobile phone market for manufactures in the years 2005 and 2006. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. (20 mins.)

The table shows the worldwide market share of the mobile phone market for manufactures in the years 2005 and 2006. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. (20 mins.)
#market #phone #years #summaries #information #features #comparisons #mins
The table illustrates the proportion of global
market
 share of 7 different cell phone corporations between 2005 and 2006. In the general overview,
it is clear that
 Nokia was the highest popular company, whilst BenQ Mobile remained the lowest in the field
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 both years.
According to
 the upward trends, there contained 3 firms of phone sellers that increasing in a year. Nokia reached the apex of the
market
, starting with 32.5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to 35
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 by 2006.
While
 Motorola significantly rose around 4
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, Sony Ericsson gradually climbed only 1
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 from 6.3
percent
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per cent
show examples
 to 7.4
percent
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per cent
show examples
.
In addition
, Motorola shipped and replaced the second place in the
market
,
instead
 of other companies.
In contrast
, there were 4 companies
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
whose
show examples
 percentage of
market
 share dropped over a year period. Interestingly, both Samsung and L.G. firms slightly decreased approximately less than 1
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, 0.9
percent
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per cent
show examples
 and 0.4
percent
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per cent
show examples
 respectively.
However
, BenQ Mobile plummeted around 2.5
percent
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per cent
show examples
 which
almost
Add a missing verb
is almost
show examples
 parallel number with other corporations that
fallen
Add the auxiliary verb
fell
have fallen
show examples
 by 2
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words market, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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