Many elderly people are no long looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?
In the modern world, a large number of families tend to put their
elder
Correct word choice
elderly
parents
in aged care
that is
because they do not want to look after their parents
. By doing this
, it could have advantages for their elderly parents
. However
, there are many disadvantages to this
action as well. This
essay argues strongly in favour of the latter position, and in the following paragraphs, both of these views will be discussed in detail before the conclusion is reached.
On the one hand, it is certainly true that aged cares
Fix the agreement mistake
care
have
many convenient things to contribute to elderly Correct subject-verb agreement
has
people
are enjoyment and families can save time to look
after them as well. Change preposition
in looking
This
is because aged care
has nursing people
to take care
of them and provide them with a lot of activities as well and their family
do not need to worry about them. Fix the agreement mistake
families
For instance
, many elderly in the UK enjoy going to aged care
than staying at home. As a result
, aged care
is a good choice for families that have no times
to look after their Fix the agreement mistake
time
parents
.
Nevertheless
, it cannot be denied that some elders think if their kids put them in aged care
,means they are abandoning
, and Wrong verb form
abandoned
will
Correct pronoun usage
this will
make
Verb problem
have
an adverse effects
on their health. Correct the article-noun agreement
an adverse effect
adverse effects
This
is particularly because some elders are happy to stay at home. To illustrate this
point, according to
a recent research study by Harvard University, approximately 20% of elder people
. in the US aged carers are preferring
to stay at home because they feel Wrong verb form
prefer
loneliness
. Replace the word
lonely
Consequently
, putting elderly people
in aged care
can make them feel lonely and this
feeling can be harmed to
their health.
In conclusion, Wrong verb form
harm
although
aged care
is a good choice for people
that
have no time to look after their Correct pronoun usage
who
parents
, putting elderly people
in aged care
can make them feel lonely and this
feeling can be harmed to
their health.Wrong verb form
harm
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task response
Address the prompt more thoroughly and provide a balanced discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of the essay by using clearer topic sentences and providing smoother transitions between ideas.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?