Some people think that work is the most important thing of people’s life. Without the success of career, life become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #work #people’s #life #success #career

It has been frequently argued that employment plays an essential role in the journey of inhabitants,

consequently

, if a person

would

Verb problem

does

show examples

not attain a satisfactory job, he might assume his life is useless. I partially agree with the statement as there are many other important things to do and the same

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs.

To begin

with, there is no doubt that inhabitants spend the majority of their time at the workplace,

subsequently

, they should feel happy

while

doing their job.

In other words

, when workers feel stressed at their workplace, there is a probability that they could suffer from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

health problems

such

as chronic stress.

Apart from

this

, from an early age, children work really hard merely to get a good source of income, so that they

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

enjoy the rest of their years the way they want.

For instance

, if a person is not able to get a desired job to do, he would assume his hard work of many years from high school to university, everything was worthless.

On the other hand

although

workers spend one-third of their day earning for themselves or their family, still, they left with a two-thirds proportion of their time, which they could lead the way they would prefer. To put it forth, there are some individuals, who like to get involved in charity work and spend the majority of their time in the slums to help the needy.

For example

, there are many dwellers, who have been working for organizations free of cost, in fact, they are the most happy and satisfied people.

Besides

, in Asian countries, only one member earns in the family earns and the rest everyone stays home and does their chores.

Therefore

, it would be wrong to say, everyone`s journey is worthless, if they are not doing paid jobs. In conclusion, in

this

era, a successful career is considered an essential part of life as

that is

the only dream a child initiates to think about from an early age.

However

, there are a plethora of dwellers in the world, who have been enjoying their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

, yet, they do not have any good careers.

Submitted by lavisharma622 on Sun Aug 06 2023

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task response

Ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the question by expressing a clear stance and providing a balanced argument. Your response is somewhat incomplete and lacks a comprehensive exploration of relevant ideas. Make sure to fully engage with the task to demonstrate your ability to address the specific requirements of the question.

coherence cohesion

Your essay generally features a clear logical progression of ideas. However, there is room for improvement in the organization and development of ideas, as well as in the effective use of cohesive devices to enhance coherence. Consider applying a more sophisticated structure to strengthen the flow of your ideas and improve coherence and cohesion.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and avoid repetition. Additionally, aim for greater precision in the selection and use of words and phrases, including academic and idiomatic language, to convey your ideas more effectively.

grammatical range

Work on enhancing the variety and complexity of your sentence structures, as well as accuracy in the use of grammar. Aim for more control over grammar to produce well-structured sentences and paragraphs, and be mindful of avoiding common errors.

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16Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

362 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that work is the most important thing of people’s life. Without the success of career, life become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some schools have restricted the use of mobile phones. Is this a positive development or a negative one?

The number of people who are overweight or obese is far higher than in previous generations. What are the reasons for this, and how can the problem be tackled?

Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues, while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with a colleague?