Some people think that work is the most important thing of people’s life. Without the success of career, life become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It has been frequently argued that employment plays an essential role in the journey of inhabitants,
consequently
, if a person would
not attain a satisfactory job, he might assume his life is useless. I partially agree with the statement as there are many other important things to do and the same Verb problem
does
would
be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs.
Wrong verb form
will
To begin
with, there is no doubt that inhabitants spend the majority of their time at the workplace, subsequently
, they should feel happy while
doing their job. In other words
, when workers feel stressed at their workplace, there is a probability that they could suffer from the
health problems Correct article usage
apply
such
as chronic stress. Apart from
this
, from an early age, children work really hard merely to get a good source of income, so that they could
enjoy the rest of their years the way they want. Wrong verb form
can
For instance
, if a person is not able to get a desired job to do, he would assume his hard work of many years from high school to university, everything was worthless.
On the other hand
, although
workers spend one-third of their day earning for themselves or their family, still, they left with a two-thirds proportion of their time, which they could lead the way they would prefer. To put it forth, there are some individuals, who like to get involved in charity work and spend the majority of their time in the slums to help the needy. For example
, there are many dwellers, who have been working for organizations free of cost, in fact, they are the most happy and satisfied people. Besides
, in Asian countries, only one member earns in the family earns and the rest everyone stays home and does their chores. Therefore
, it would be wrong to say, everyone`s journey is worthless, if they are not doing paid jobs.
In conclusion, in this
era, a successful career is considered an essential part of life as that is
the only dream a child initiates to think about from an early age. However
, there are a plethora of dwellers in the world, who have been enjoying their life
, yet, they do not have any good careers.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Submitted by lavisharma622 on
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task response
Ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the question by expressing a clear stance and providing a balanced argument. Your response is somewhat incomplete and lacks a comprehensive exploration of relevant ideas. Make sure to fully engage with the task to demonstrate your ability to address the specific requirements of the question.
coherence cohesion
Your essay generally features a clear logical progression of ideas. However, there is room for improvement in the organization and development of ideas, as well as in the effective use of cohesive devices to enhance coherence. Consider applying a more sophisticated structure to strengthen the flow of your ideas and improve coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and avoid repetition. Additionally, aim for greater precision in the selection and use of words and phrases, including academic and idiomatic language, to convey your ideas more effectively.
grammatical range
Work on enhancing the variety and complexity of your sentence structures, as well as accuracy in the use of grammar. Aim for more control over grammar to produce well-structured sentences and paragraphs, and be mindful of avoiding common errors.