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Writing Samples
Band 7

5.Employers should give their staff at least a 4-week holiday a year. It can make them perform better in their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Today, employers and public developers are struggling to determine employee holiday allocations. Some people say that
employees
Use synonyms
 should take a month off each year, but
while
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this
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 may have some positive effects, I completely disagree with the statement. It is true that there are some benefits to taking an extended vacation.
Firstly
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,
this
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 trend will give
employees
Use synonyms
 more time to relieve stress after long working hours by engaging in activities like travelling or participating in recreational activities.
For example
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,
employees
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 adjust their
work
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 status after taking a break, which ultimately leads to improved
work
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 efficiency.
Secondly
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, if
employees
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 have more time to take care of their babies, they will be more willing to devote their energy to the
work
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 process. In fact, when
employees
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 are satisfied with their personal lives, they tend to prioritize their career goals.
This
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 is an excellent environment for business growth.
On the other hand
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, the policy of extending holidays will
also
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 bring some disadvantages that could threaten businesses. By the end of the vacation,
employees
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' mental and physical abilities become passive
due to
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 spending long hours without engaging in routine tasks
such
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 as typing reports or conducting research.
This
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 results in a lack of functional competence in the workplace, which significantly impacts the company's performance.
Additionally
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, small companies with only a few
employees
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 may need to delay some project deadlines.
This
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 results in a lack of sufficient skills in the workplace, which significantly impacts the company's productivity.
To sum up
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, since long vacations have certain advantages, bosses can provide
employees
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 with about two weeks of vacation in order to boost employee morale, strengthen cooperation, and improve
work
Use synonyms
 efficiency.

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task response
Task Response (6/9): The essay addresses the prompt but lacks depth in argumentation. It would benefit from a stronger stance on the statement and more thorough analysis of the pros and cons of providing a 4-week holiday to employees.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion (6/9): The essay demonstrates a basic structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the overall flow of ideas. Consider using more cohesive devices such as linking words and phrases to connect your arguments more effectively.
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