IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task The following two pie charts show the results of a survey into the popularity of various leisure activities among European adults in 1985 and 1995. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task The following two pie charts show the results of a survey into the popularity of various leisure activities among European adults in 1985 and 1995. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#minutes #two #show #results #survey #popularity #leisure #activities #european #adults #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The two pie charts below illustrate
outcome
Add an article
the outcome
show examples
 of the research
in
Change preposition
on
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percentagewise
Correct your spelling
percentage-wise
percentages
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 European
adults
Change noun form
adult's
adults'
show examples
 activities in their free time in two
yers
Correct your spelling
years
show examples
 1985 and 1995.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 watching TV was the most significant part of their leisure time in both years
,
Remove the comma
apply
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while
 talking with friends was substituted by playing computer games in 1995. In 1985 watching TV (32%) was the most popular activity among
the
Correct article usage
apply
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adult's society in Europe,
then
on
Change preposition
in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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second
place
Add a comma
,place
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 there is
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
eating out which makes up 23% of the
chart
.
Moreover
, talking with friends was
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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third place with
Correct article usage
a percentsge
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percentsge
Correct your spelling
percentage
 rate of 21%. Talking with family and other activities made up
smallest
Add an article
the smallest
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 part of the
chart
. In 1995 watching TV (30%) has remained people's favourite activity as it was in 1985. It is interesting to note that within a span of 10 years playing computer games became
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
enjoyable
Correct quantifier usage
most enjoyable
show examples
 activity in Europe with 27%, it totally took
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 place of spending time with friends which in 1995 made up 26% of the
chart
.
Furthermore
, talking with family, eating out and other activities were the smallest segment of the supplied
chart
.
Submitted by amina07id on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 5 times.
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