IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

some people think zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be clsoed. however, some people think zoos can help protect the rare animals Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is thought that many
animals
Use synonyms
 are being held in captivity
while
Linking Words
 some consider that wildlife should be protected from extinction. in my point of view, I deeply stress the second point. On the one hand, protecting rare
animals
Use synonyms
 in zoos is the best idea. they can live in a safe place without any threat.
In addition
Linking Words
, wildlife will be taken care of by people. Humans will feed them, and take a shower for them.
Moreover
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, people can help to increase the offspring's survival.
According to
Linking Words
 a study by environmentalists, various creatures are saved after the end of "Dudo". Recently, pandas' was at risk, but
according to
Linking Words
 the report, now they are at lower risk.
On the other hand
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, many rare
animals
Use synonyms
 are physically abused by humans. They will lose the power of flying and they can not live in their own Inhabitat. Another reason is they are used for entertainment purposes. Elephants, birds, and monkeys are trained by staff so that they can earn money from them.
Furthermore
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,
animals
Use synonyms
 are often teased by humans
such
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 as children always throwing objects at them.
For instance
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, a report posted in the news shows that
animals
Use synonyms
 are mentally and physically tortured by parks which slows down their reproduction ability
hence
Linking Words
, life span is not safe inside
To sum up
Linking Words
, safari parks are proven beneficial, so that they can protect
animals
Use synonyms
 from extermination.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • animal welfare
  • conservation
  • captive breeding
  • habitat
  • ethical issues
  • zoochosis
  • endangered species
  • genetic diversity
  • reintroduction programs
  • wildlife education
  • sanctuary
  • natural living conditions
  • artificial environments
  • behavioral enrichment
  • ecosystem
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