IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below gives some of the most reported issues among people living in UK cities in 2008 (%). Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives some of the most reported issues among people living in UK cities in 2008 (%). Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given bar chart provides information about the percentages of some common challenges reported among mankind in the United Kingdom urban centres.
Overall
Linking Words
 all the hindrances in all the cities increased throughout the period. Health service recorded the highest number of cases of its counterparts. Though, health service was higher In
Newcastle
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, education and training surpassed
at the end
Linking Words
 in London
To begin
Linking Words
 with, air pollution in
Newcastle
Use synonyms
 accounted for about 5% which was the least setbacks as compared to its counterparts.
This
Linking Words
 figure experienced a gradual increase until reaching its peak of about 15% in Manchester.
However
Linking Words
, the proportion witnessed a steady decline in London with about 12%.
In addition
Linking Words
, obstacles in education and training In
Newcastle
Use synonyms
 recorded around 45% which
then
Linking Words
 plateaued both in Belfast and in Birmingham with a figure of about 52% each.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 percentage
also
Linking Words
 remained relatively stable both in Glasgow and in London with about 53% each. With regard to health services.
Although
Linking Words
, it was the highest challenge reported In
Newcastle
Use synonyms
 about 52%.
However
Linking Words
, education and training surpassed with a figure of approximately 53% against 51% .

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words newcastle with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 7 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • significant issue
  • high percentage
  • real estate market
  • traffic congestion
  • transportation issues
  • urban areas
  • health services
  • dissatisfaction
  • healthcare facilities
  • crime rates
  • safety
  • law enforcement
  • education and employment issues
  • job market
  • educational systems
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