History tells that people have often thought about creating an ideal society, but most of the times fail in making this happen. What is your opinion about an ideal society How can we create an ideal society?

History tells
that
Correct pronoun usage
us that
show examples
individuals have often thought about creating
Correct article usage
a
show examples
perfect community , but most of the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
fail in making
this
occur. In my opinion, it is possible to make
ideal
Correct article usage
an ideal
show examples
scoiety
Correct your spelling
society
, there are several ways to create
ideal
Correct article usage
an ideal
show examples
society
including,
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
gap
Correct article usage
the gap
show examples
bweteen
Correct your spelling
between
rich and poor
people
, and
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
health.
To begin
with, I totally believe is possible to create
ideal
Add an article
an ideal
the ideal
show examples
society
. To illustrate,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
can build more social clubs in order to
boosts
Change the verb
boost
show examples
relationships among members of
society
.
Therefore
, these social clubs can contribute to
bring
Wrong verb form
bringing
show examples
people
together and
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conflicts among
people
.
Furthermore
, the government can encourage
people
to learn about their history via
visit
Wrong verb form
visiting
show examples
museums and art
gallary
Correct your spelling
gallery
, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can make
people
feel
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a sense of
beloning
Correct your spelling
belonging
to their heritage and cultures.
As a result
,
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
about
histroy
Correct your spelling
history
boost a sense of identity
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
society
, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
ideal
Correct article usage
an ideal
show examples
society
result of
unite
Correct subject-verb agreement
unites
show examples
people
.
Additionally
, I believe there are several factors
contribute
Correct pronoun usage
that contribute
show examples
to
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
perfect
Correct article usage
a perfect
show examples
community. The primary factor to
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
ideal
Correct article usage
an ideal
show examples
society
is
reduce
Fix the infinitive
to reduce
show examples
the gap between wealth and poor
people
.
For example
, affluent
people
can donate money or clothes to poor
people
, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can reduce the rate of poverty in
society
.
Consequently
, less poverty
mean
Change the verb form
means
show examples
less crime, which
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
our
society
away from violence.
Enhance
Wrong verb form
Enhancing
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
health is another element to create
perfect
Add an article
a perfect
the perfect
show examples
society
. To
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
put
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
other words, the government could promote
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle namely , playing
Add an article
a sport
the sport
show examples
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
, and
eat
Wrong verb form
eating
show examples
healthy food, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can reduce serious diseases
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
cancer, heart attack,
obesity
Correct word choice
and obesity
show examples
in
society
.
Thus
, less
illnesess
Correct your spelling
illnesses
illness
in
society
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
society
, which
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
our
society
ideal.
To sum up
, I completely believe it is possible to make
ideal
Correct article usage
an ideal
show examples
scoiety
Correct your spelling
society
through
promote
Replace the word
promotion
show examples
, , there are different methods to create
ideal
Correct article usage
an ideal
show examples
society
including, reduce
gap
Correct article usage
the gap
show examples
bweteen
Correct your spelling
between
affluent and poor
people
, and
boosts
Wrong verb form
boosting
show examples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
people
health.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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