IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In many countries schools have sever problem with student’s behavior. What are the causes and solution to this in your view?

#countries #schools #student’s #behavior
Nowadays,
teachers
 find the
school
 environment more chaotic
from
Change preposition
than
show examples
 before as the
students
Change noun form
student's
students'
show examples
 contribution is not justifiable. The behaviour of children
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 questionable with several reasons
effecting
Correct your spelling
affecting
show examples
 it like, explore to internet channels and
fasinating
Correct your spelling
fascinating
 stories
over
Change preposition
about
show examples
 it.
This
 essay will provide
a
Change the article
an
show examples
explaination
Correct your spelling
explanation
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the problem and corrective
measure
Fix the agreement mistake
measures
show examples
 that can be effective to correct
situation
Add an article
the situation
show examples
. Foremost, behavioural studies related to
students
 with the help of teacher associations highlighted that now there is less interest presented in classrooms by candidates.
This
also
question
Change the verb form
questions
show examples
 directly the future of
students
 which may be
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 risk, but the indubitable reason is fast growing internet and materials available. Online
web-series
Correct your spelling
web series
show examples
 on fictional and romantic stories of
school
life
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the reason why
students
 do not find knowledge from books and
value
Correct article usage
the value
show examples
 of their
teachers
 unattractive.
Fun
Add an article
The fun
A fun
show examples
 part of
school
life
 is important but targeting only
school
 trips and game events is not enough.
For example
, subjects like maths and science is having a high score of 80% only throughout the USA for the years 2019-2020 published by US
school
assosications
Correct your spelling
associations
.
This
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 require
to see
Change the verb form
seeing
show examples
 the behavioural
change
 of
students
 and measures to opt for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 in
manner
Add an article
a manner
show examples
 to bring
change
. Collectively, the seriousness of
topic
Correct article usage
the topic
show examples
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 bring the solution with
highly
Change the adverb
high
show examples
 effectiveness to
refectfy
Correct your spelling
reflect
 the atmosphere of student
life
. The
teachers
 or parents together may arrange events
along with
 sports events where
life
achiever's
Change noun form
achievers
show examples
such
 as DR. APJ Abdul Kalam's
life
 story can be shared with all participants. The
enthusiasim
Correct your spelling
enthusiasm
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 learning things in studies and collecting degrees in different areas with their contribution in past and present can
also
 be discussed. Live stories or
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
 like
this
 can bring a
change
 to their minds in short and effective changes will be
observerd
Correct your spelling
observed
 by
teachers
.
Overall
, it is undeniable that
students
 in the growing technology world are having enough influence that
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
change
 their thinking and
priporities
Correct your spelling
priorities
 of their short
as well as
 long term
life
. The Readiness of learning things and related fruitfulness is missing which can be assured from time to time with little efforts by
teachers
 management and parents to recall children the importance of studies and
knowlegde
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 gained for future building.
Submitted by pritibadgal.011 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: