Wild animals hace no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree of disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Animal Protection has become a global issue as more and more species are moving towards the danger of extinction.
According to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the prevalent
believe
Replace the word
belief

The word believe doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
of certain
inviduals
Correct your spelling
individuals

If you don’t want inviduals to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

spending resources
in
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
protecting
wild life
Correct your spelling
wildlife

The word wild life seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

show examples
is useless, as these creatures have no place in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

century. I entirely disagree
to
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the aforementioned notion supported by compelling reasons. Utilizing capital means to secure
animal
Correct article usage
the animal

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
kingdom has several benefits.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

activity is not only crucial in maintaining biodiversity and
health
Correct article usage
the health

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
of
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

ecosystem
Add an article
the ecosystem
an ecosystem

The noun phrase ecosystem seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma before the conjunction but also appears to be unnecessary. Consider removing it.

show examples
but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

important in contributing towards
blue
Correct article usage
the blue

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
economy. As a part of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

ecosystem
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, we humans have the responsibility to protect it from dangers. If we put our financial assets and
authorities
Fix the agreement mistake
authority

It seems that authorities may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
in
Change preposition
into

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
safeguarding these living beings.
Subsequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

will
helps
Change the verb form
help

The verb helps after the modal verb will does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
us in maintaining the balance in
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
ecosystem
Add an article
the ecosystem
an ecosystem

The noun phrase ecosystem seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, maintaining
ecosystem
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

balance is
neccesary
Correct your spelling
necessary

If you don’t want neccesary to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

not only for our own survival but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

for
survival
Add an article
the survival

The noun phrase survival seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
of the human generations to come.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if animals cease to exist, we will face
challenges
Correct article usage
the challenges

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
of food supply.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some animal predators play their role in limiting
population
Add an article
the population

The noun phrase population seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
of other dangerous species.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Whales the biggest marine creatures
absorbs
Correct subject-verb agreement
absorb

It seems that the verb absorbs does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
all types of bacteria as their food, if they become extinct we will face the challenge of curbing the massive population of bacteria and other small creatures. Another benefit of preserving
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
wild animals is that it can promote eco-tourism.
Tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
Tourists

It seems that Tourist may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
from different parts of
world
Add an article
the world

The noun phrase world seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
come and visit animals.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
host
Add an article
the host

The noun phrase host country seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
country will
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive

If you don’t want recieve to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

a stimulus in economic growth.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, marine life plays a crucial role in sustaining fisheries and pharmaceutical products.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

contributing towards the
countries'blue
Correct your spelling
countries blue

If you don’t want countries'blue to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

economy.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
renowed
Correct your spelling
renowned

If you don’t want renowed to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

medicine Jaysted to cure pancreatic diseases
have
Change the verb form
has

The plural verb have does not appear to agree with the singular subject medicine. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
been prepared from sharks. In conclusion,Even though some people find it worthless to take measures to protect
environment
Add an article
the environment

The noun phrase environment seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
. I completely disagree with them. Given the fact, protecting them is important to maintain biodiversity and boost
economy
Add an article
the economy

The noun phrase economy seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
, which plays a significant role in our survival and growth.
Submitted by syedsaad50 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: