Many people believe that the best response to high levels of violent crime is to increase the length of the prison sentences. Others believe that long prison sentences do nothing to prevent crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. (IELTS Academic Module/ Writing2)

Many
people
believe that the best response to high levels of violent
crime
is to increase the length of
prison
sentences. On
this
side,
people
think if prisoners get a longer
prison
sentence
, they would have more time to look back in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison
and tend to regret what they have done and come to make up for their new term of life. Indeed,
prison
Add an article
a prison
the prison
show examples
sentence
is not pleasant at all. Most
people
want to avoid it,
therefore
, the longer the
sentence
becomes, the
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
commit a
crime
.
On the other hand
,
people
believe that long
prison
sentences do nothing to prevent
crime
. Of
course
Add a comma
,course
show examples
there are some
people
who don’t think long sentences don’t change their way of thinking and their attitude towards
crime
. These prisoners could be a psycho and they are not
human hearted
Add a hyphen
human-hearted
show examples
in the first place; that’s why they committed a
crime
. In my opinion,
long
Add an article
the long
a long
show examples
prison
sentence
can decrease the high levels of violent
crime
. I have one example from my work experience at a junior high school. When students are given detention for their bad deed, the longer the distention becomes, the fewer they repeat the deed.
However
, I want to suggest one thing
to
Change preposition
about
show examples
this
theme. I believe the length is not enough to decrease the
crime
, rather,
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
of the
sentence
is important.
Counseling
Change the spelling
Counselling
show examples
or therapy at
prison
Add an article
the prison
show examples
will truly make a difference. In the study done in the documentary show called “
Prison
Circle,” prisoners talk about why they committed the
crime
. In the session, the story is told in two ways; objective and subjective ways. Surprisingly, after putting themselves in an objective standpoint, they naturally come to recognize their responsibility of actually having committed the
crime
and accept it. I think
this
is effective to decrease the
crime
rate.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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