IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many young people change their jobs or careers every few years. What are the reasons for this Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #change #jobs #careers #years #do #outweigh
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It is certainly true that today many young individuals alter their
jobs
Use synonyms
 or careers every few years. In my opinion, there are several reasons why
people
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hopping
Wrong verb form
hop
show examples
jobs
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 financial
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
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, and workplace environment. I believe
merits
Correct article usage
the merits
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 of
this
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trends
Fix the agreement mistake
trend
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 exceed
demerits
Correct article usage
the demerits
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 because it help
people
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 to enhance their personal and professional
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
. On the one hand, the primary reason why
people
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switching
Wrong verb form
switch
show examples
jobs
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 is
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
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 perspective. To illustrate,
people
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 desire to
change
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 their
jobs
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 in order to find a better salary in other companies.
Therefore
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 , a better wage
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more likely to make
employees
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happines
Correct your spelling
happiness
toward
Change preposition
about
show examples
 their
jobs
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. Looking for a positive environment is another reason why
people
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change
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 their job frequently.
This
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 is because
employees
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 often want to escape from toxic
enviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
environments
such
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 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 negative manager or colleagues, which make
employees
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more likely to become satisfied
about
Change preposition
with
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 their
jobs
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, I think the benefits of
this
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 development
significantly
Add a missing verb
are significantly
show examples
 more than
downsides
Correct article usage
the downsides
show examples
. The first benefit of
this
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 trend is can help
people
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 to step out
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 comfort zone.
This
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 is
becaue
Correct your spelling
because
people
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 who
change
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 their
jobs
Use synonyms
 regularly are more likely to learn
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
new skills and responsibilities.
For example
Linking Words
,
employees
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 who
change
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 their job from
construction
Correct article usage
a construction
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 company to
technology
Correct article usage
a technology
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 company can experience different duties. The second benefit can learn
skill
Add an article
the skill
show examples
 of adaptability. To illustrate,
people
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 who work in different companies can learn to deal
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 stress
result
Replace the word
resulting
show examples
 of experience a new job, which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
employees
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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more likely to become more strong to face stress in
personal
Correct pronoun usage
their personal
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live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
.
To sum up
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,
For
Change preposition
From
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 my perspective , there are
difference
Replace the word
different
show examples
reasons why
people
Use synonyms
switching
Wrong verb form
switch
show examples
jobs
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 including ,
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
show examples
 aspect, and
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
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 environment. I think
Correct article usage
the
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upsides of
this
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trends
Fix the agreement mistake
trend
show examples
 outweigh
Correct article usage
the
show examples
drawbacks
due to
Linking Words
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
help
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to
boosts
Change the verb form
boost
show examples
their personal and professional
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • career mobility
  • job-hopping
  • gig economy
  • professional growth
  • job satisfaction
  • personal fulfillment
  • job security
  • long-term employment
  • work history
  • deep expertise
  • adaptability
  • networking
  • right fit
  • skill set
  • diverse experiences
What to do next:
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