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Band 6

Many young people change their jobs or careers every few years. What are the reasons for this Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #change #jobs #careers #years #do #outweigh
It is certainly true that today many young individuals alter their
jobs
 or careers every few years. In my opinion, there are several reasons why
people
hopping
Wrong verb form
hop
show examples
jobs
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 financial
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
, and workplace environment. I believe
merits
Correct article usage
the merits
show examples
 of
this
trends
Fix the agreement mistake
trend
show examples
 exceed
demerits
Correct article usage
the demerits
show examples
 because it help
people
 to enhance their personal and professional
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
. On the one hand, the primary reason why
people
switching
Wrong verb form
switch
show examples
jobs
 is
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
show examples
 perspective. To illustrate,
people
 desire to
change
 their
jobs
 in order to find a better salary in other companies.
Therefore
 , a better wage
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more likely to make
employees
happines
Correct your spelling
happiness
toward
Change preposition
about
show examples
 their
jobs
. Looking for a positive environment is another reason why
people
change
 their job frequently.
This
 is because
employees
 often want to escape from toxic
enviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
environments
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 negative manager or colleagues, which make
employees
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more likely to become satisfied
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their
jobs
.
On the other hand
, I think the benefits of
this
 development
significantly
Add a missing verb
are significantly
show examples
 more than
downsides
Correct article usage
the downsides
show examples
. The first benefit of
this
 trend is can help
people
 to step out
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 comfort zone.
This
 is
becaue
Correct your spelling
because
people
 who
change
 their
jobs
 regularly are more likely to learn
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
new skills and responsibilities.
For example
,
employees
 who
change
 their job from
construction
Correct article usage
a construction
show examples
 company to
technology
Correct article usage
a technology
show examples
 company can experience different duties. The second benefit can learn
skill
Add an article
the skill
show examples
 of adaptability. To illustrate,
people
 who work in different companies can learn to deal
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 stress
result
Replace the word
resulting
show examples
 of experience a new job, which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
employees
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more likely to become more strong to face stress in
personal
Correct pronoun usage
their personal
show examples
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
.
To sum up
,
For
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my perspective , there are
difference
Replace the word
different
show examples
reasons why
people
switching
Wrong verb form
switch
show examples
jobs
 including ,
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
show examples
 aspect, and
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
 environment. I think
Correct article usage
the
show examples
upsides of
this
trends
Fix the agreement mistake
trend
show examples
 outweigh
Correct article usage
the
show examples
drawbacks
due to
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
help
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
people
 to
boosts
Change the verb form
boost
show examples
their personal and professional
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career mobility
  • job-hopping
  • gig economy
  • professional growth
  • job satisfaction
  • personal fulfillment
  • job security
  • long-term employment
  • work history
  • deep expertise
  • adaptability
  • networking
  • right fit
  • skill set
  • diverse experiences
What to do next:
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