Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines. Does this develomeng bring more advantages or disadvantages.

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Nowadays, we can observe how
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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technology
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is increasing in large measure. It generates a
discuss
Replace the word
discussion

The word discuss doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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about if it is better or worst for
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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society. Many people believe that more facilities can do us dumb
persons
Replace the word
people

The word persons doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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and
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

could
be
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb be appears to be unnecessary here.

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generate
unhappy
Replace the word
unhappiness

The word unhappy doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, other people
are agree
Change the verb form
agree

It appears that the form of the verb agree does not work with are in this sentence.

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with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

and believe that can improve their
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives

It appears that the noun lifes is misspelled. Correct the spelling.

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.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the benefits of
technology
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should be taken. Productivity is very important to advance
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as society and I know
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

difficult
take
Fix the infinitive
to take

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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the time to learn about all
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these

It appears that the singular demonstrative this is modifying the plural noun changes. Consider using a plural demonstrative or a singular noun instead.

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changes but I am sure that they are for
better
Correct article usage
the better

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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. I remember when I bought a phone for my grandmother and
first
Change preposition
at first

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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she was stressed but
overtime
Correct your spelling
over time

The word overtime doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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she can learnt and after that she appreciated my gift because she could do calls with her friends.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the disadvantages of excess use of
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

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things use to be that people don´t have to think a lot because
technology
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

makes all for them. It could be a trouble
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

humans need to think to maintain our brain
healthly
Correct your spelling
healthy
health

If you don’t want healthly to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. When I was a child, I had to remember where was my house when I went back. Now, with our
cellphones
Add a comma
,cellphones

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase with our cellphones. Consider adding a comma.

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we don´t
need
Add the particle
toneed

It appears that the verb remember should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

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remember anything , it is crazy! In summary, I believe that we have to take the good things about
technology
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

like
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

we should search
other
Change preposition
for other

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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things to work our brain like a puzzle
for instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

. I am absolutely sure that it came to do easier our
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives

It appears that the noun lifes is misspelled. Correct the spelling.

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than if we would not have
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

available.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • automation
  • labor-saving devices
  • efficiency
  • consistency
  • precision
  • physical burden
  • productivity
  • reliability
  • utility bills
  • energy consumption
  • electronic waste
  • environmental challenges
  • self-sufficiency
  • dependency on technology
  • skillset
What to do next:
Look at other essays: