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Band 3

In many parts of the world, children's lives were very different from today. What do you think were advantages or disadvantages of life for children in the past?

#parts #world #children #lives #life
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In the past, in many parts of the Earth,
children
's lives were very diverse from today. From my perspective,
of
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apply
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life for
children
 had
advantages
 and
disadvantages
.
This
 is the
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
:
firstly
, they spent more
time
 with their parents and played more with the neighborhood
children
,
As a result
, they became kind and friendly.
Secondly
, they didn'
t
 have phones or computers and they don'
t
 spend a lot of
time
 playing phone games or social media. So they studied more and read more books. They helped their parents in their free
time
, which helped them to be responsible and hard
worker
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workers
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. Contrariwise, one of the main
disadvantages
 was not getting a good education.
Also
, education was difficult, because there were no telephones and computers. It would be easier for them to get an education if they had a phone. Another
disadvantages
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disadvantage
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 was that they didn'
t
 have things to make their work easier.
Therefore
, they had to work harder.
Also
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,Also
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 they couldn'
t
 go to parks,
children
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children's
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 playgrounds and swimming pools as
safety
Replace the word
safely
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 as they
to
Correct your spelling
do
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 now, and they had
swim
Fix the infinitive
to swim
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 in canals which was dangerous. Another
one
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apply
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disadvantages
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantage
show examples
 is that medical services were limited before and
this
 led to an increase in the rate of diseases. It should be noted that these
advantages
 and
disadvantages
 differ greatly depending on the specific
time
 period. Each period has its own
advantages
 and
disadvantages
. And it is up to the
children
 to overcome
this
 deficiency in the future.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • extended family
  • support system
  • cultural traditions
  • hands-on learning
  • practical skills
  • economic independence
  • leisure time
  • infant mortality rates
  • physical health
  • creativity
  • family income
  • distractions from technology
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