IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a salmon, from eggs to adult fish.

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a salmon, from eggs to adult fish.
#life #cycle #salmon #eggs #adult #fish
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The supplied illustration represents the process of how salmons live, from eggs to mature fish.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
salmon
Use synonyms
 has three living areas in
it's
Replace the word
its
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life
Use synonyms
 cycle,
such
Linking Words
 as
Use synonyms
river
Fix the agreement mistake
rivers
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,
estuary
Fix the agreement mistake
estuaries
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 and
ocean
Fix the agreement mistake
oceans
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.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph birth of little salmons occurs in the
river
Use synonyms
 and the
birthgiving
Correct your spelling
birthing
birth giving
birth-giving
 process is called incubation, in
consequece
Correct your spelling
consequence
baby
Capitalize word
Baby
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salmons
Add the comma(s)
,salmons
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 are becoming older in freshwater rearing in
Use synonyms
river
Add an article
the river
a river
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. After freshwater rearing, teenage fishes are
moving
Wrong verb form
moved
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 to the estuary and the process of estuary rearing is started there. As can be seen in the illustration third part of
salmon
Use synonyms
's
life
Use synonyms
 cycle begins in the ocean, when fishes are migrating to their rearing areas and
salmon
Use synonyms
's most part of
life
Use synonyms
 is there, in the ocean, because of being matured there.
Following
Change the article
The following
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 stage is migration to the spawning areas
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
river
Use synonyms
, where the
salmon
Use synonyms
 has been born and the
last
Linking Words
 stage of
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 is to
delivere
Correct your spelling
deliver
 a baby to multiply fishes amount.
Submitted by amina07id on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words salmon, life, river with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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