IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The bar charts show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar charts show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #show #uk #graduate #students #work #college #information #features #comparisons
The bar graphs
compared
Change the form of the verb
compare
show examples
 the information about graduate and postgraduate students who did not go full-time
work
 after college in 2008
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
 part-time
work
 voluntary
work
 for their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 and
unemployment
.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 the
number
 of graduates
Change the verb form
was
show examples
were increase
Change the verb form
were increased
were increasing
show examples
 than the
number
 of postgraduates. The reached
peack
Correct your spelling
peak
indexex
Correct your spelling
indexes
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was
further
Add an article
a further
the further
show examples
 study of both charts. In the first graph, the lowest
number
 was 3,500
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 voluntary
work
,
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
unemployment
Change preposition
for unemployment
show examples
 16,235 people.
Unemployment
indexex
Correct your spelling
indexes
index
indexed
 higher than voluntary
work
. The part-time
work
consist
Change the verb form
consists
show examples
 of 17,735 individuals.
However
, the
further
work
 one of the
rockedly
Correct your spelling
rocky
increase
Fix the agreement mistake
increases
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was 24,665
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
graduate students. In the second graph, one of the lowest was voluntary
work
 345 people.
Moreover
,
unemployment
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 to 1,635.
Unemployment
higher
Add a missing verb
is higher
show examples
 than voluntary
work
 the same problem with the first graph. The part-time
work
 was 2,535 and one of the top was
further
 study. It was 2,725
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
postgraduate students
Submitted by ronadeclaro on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words work, unemployment, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼

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