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Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think parents should supervise their children’s activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both view and your opinion

#people #parents #children’s #activities #children #freedom
As some people believe that supervising
children
's activity is a necessity, others argue that allowing them to act freely is more suitable.
While
 I'm more agree with the second group with the idea of giving
children
 the best opportunity to experience things freely. beginning with the first group, considering
parents
' support and close partnership in their
child
's activity as an essential rule, they
firstly
 may are focused on the fact that some experiences could be dangerous at some early ages.
secondly
Add a comma
,secondly
show examples
 the fact that the
child
 has no idea about how wrong his decision can go and what results can be made through that action. In
this
 case,
parents
' control over a
child
's activities can be a real help.
For instance
, a
child
 may try to find out about the nature of fire on his own, and with no one by his side, he may fall into great danger,
such
 as burning himself or even worse scenarios. The second belief,
on the other hand
, gives the
child
 a great opportunity to grow powerful and more independent from his family as soon as possible. The other advantage that
children
 would experience from
this
 freedom can the level of creativity they achieve as they must find new ways the way complex tasks. Take a
child
 who is free to choose between different items in Lego to build a house as an example. In
this
 case, by removing the presence of the
parents
, the
child
 will try to find novel ways each time he fails or even success in the way of making what he wants.
while
 in my opinion completely agrees with the latter idea of letting
children
 find out about the world around them in a peaceful and isolated environment,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it doesn't mean that
parents
 should let their
child
 alone or cut off their support when it's needed but simply means that they should believe it their
child
's decisions as they care and carefully look after his activities. On the whole,
while
 there are some groups of people thinking of supervising their
child
's activity as a must in their parental duty, there are some others who believe they can leave their
child
 to choose freely between options and decisions.
Submitted by sagarhasanzade on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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