Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you thing this is a positive or a negative development?

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These days, a growing number of
people
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have
health
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issues and trying to take medicines and treatment
although
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they can come to visit their
doctor
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. In my point of view, it had both a positive side and
the
Correct article usage
a
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negative side which are discussed in
this
Linking Words
essay. On the one side,
There
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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more and more citizens
take
Wrong verb form
are taking
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care of themselves
instead
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of going to visit the
doctor
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will save them time. As a part of fact,
people
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who were taken disease can research the solution to improve their
health
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because now it appears in every corner of the Internet.
For example
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,
according to
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the figure analysed the number of
people
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who can get treatment knowledge now is
raising
Correct your spelling
rising
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little by little with the internet where they can share the ways to fight the disease easily.
Additionally
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, not only saves time but
also
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money, based on the fact that the cost of each
time visiting
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visit to
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the
doctor
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is still so expensive for most
people
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so home treatments are still the better choices for them. But they must be careful with these types of treatments and medicines because every mistake always affects their body
turning
Verb problem
making it
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worse. On the opposite, the
doctor
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is
also
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an expert in their area of work. So coming to the
doctor
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and taking the medicines they have listed will be more effective ways to be healthy, especially for the
elder
Replace the word
elderly
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. And
people
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who visit their usual
doctor
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will not be afraid anymore of their
health
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problems. Every wealthy
people
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always
chose
Wrong verb form
chooses
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the best options for their
health
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and visiting doctors will be a perfect choice that can not be skipped.
However
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, the citizens who choose
this
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way
are
Verb problem
apply
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usually not
having
Wrong verb form
have
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financial problems because it is not cheap. In conclusion, depending on the finances and the lifestyle of each person there are both negative and positive
development
Fix the agreement mistake
developments
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to improve their
health
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Alexandre Harvey on

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task achievement
Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction to state your opinion on whether this is a positive or negative development.
task achievement
Support your ideas with more specific examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Develop and organize your ideas with clear topic sentences for each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words or phrases to improve the coherence and flow of your essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Proofread for grammatical errors and sentence structure issues.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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