IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries, women and men are working full-time. It is therefore, logical for women and men to share household tasks. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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In the majority of nations, all members of the family are earning and split expenses, so the scenario should be similar
while
Linking Words
 doing house chores. I completely agree with the statement and the same
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs. The first and foremost advantage is that it brings equality in society and parents could provide an excellent example to their young ones. To put it forth,
this
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 trend would eradicate traditional social norms from the community,
thus
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, both sexes would receive equal opportunities not only professionally but in their personal life as well.
For instance
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, a father always wants her daughter to be treated well by their in-laws,
however
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, he should lead it by an illustration.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 development would bring peace not only in the
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 of women but in families
also
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.
Initially
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, a hectic schedule and long working hours are already a huge challenge for females to overcome,
whereas
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, still they have to work alone in the kitchen, which is completely unfair, and it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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frequently
become
Verb problem
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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of
Change preposition
apply
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conflicts between couples.
Moreover
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,
this
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 is a fundamental cause of women suffering from various deficiencies and they have to take supplements, even in their early thirties.
For example
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, after giving birth the mother`s body becomes more fragile, whilst, an extra workload is the biggest concern of their well-being. In conclusion, these days, the world is demanding equal treatment for both genders,
subsequently
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, it would not be wrong to say that partners should help each other with household tasks. In fact, it would improve the living standard of females as they would receive respect from their loved ones,
lastly
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, it is important for their well-being.

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task response
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and cohesive devices to improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use a more varied range of synonyms to enhance the lexical resource of the essay.
grammatical range
Work on using a wider variety of complex sentence structures and pay attention to subject-verb agreement and tense consistency.
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