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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people likes more living in a house while others prefer live in an apartment. What is the advantage and disadvantages of living in a house in comparison of living in an apartment?

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Undoubtedly, living separately in own personal place has become essential whether it’s in an apartment or a
house
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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, some people would prefer to live in the common housing area,
whereas
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 others in flats or private home units.
This
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 essay will examine both of the prospects of a perfect residential
space
Use synonyms
 to live in. A separate housing area would be the most preferable option in my perspective, but maintenance and expense would
going to
Verb problem
be
show examples
 more in comparison to apartments.
However
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, personal benefits would be enough to cover many expenses, which will provide a private parking spot without any hassle to look for it.
Furthermore
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, separate gardening areas for children's playgrounds or own usage can bring more advantages to pursue leisure activities,
this
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 area could
also
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 be turned into an event location for little gates together. But the consequences of maintaining
such
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 a large
space
Use synonyms
 would be a headache.
For example
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, grass mowing is a significant part
to maintain
Change preposition
of maintaining
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 its richness and the requirement could be fulfilled by hiring workers which is going to be expensive. Other disadvantageous development of a shortage of property rise and advancement in urban areas could damage property valuation.
That is
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 a more crucial factor to determine for
house
Use synonyms
 owners.
On the other hand
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, small unit apartments are designed and constructed
while
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 determining their uniqueness and could be plentiful for living.
For instance
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, modern cities are developing their way into urbanisation, where small-sized flats are a beneficial approach to providing housing for an excessive population.
This
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 would be more than enough to fulfil all amenities like public garden
space
Use synonyms
 for residents, and playing and running areas for all age groups of people.
In addition
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, the monthly expenditure to maintain a small accommodation will be much
lesser
Correct word choice
less
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 than a
house
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, but expanding construction
space
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 would be illegal for apartment owners. The
house
Use synonyms
 owners can reconstruct their
space
Use synonyms
according to
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 how they like, but it would be impossible for people who live in the apartment
along with
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 the complication of a hazardous situation.
To conclude
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, individuals have their own perspectives and
budget
Fix the agreement mistake
budgets
show examples
 for where
would
Verb problem
apply
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they reside,
someone
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
 will prefer to live in a calm housing
space
Use synonyms
 and others in a clustered environment.
Although
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, pros and cons will be balanced in comparison of these two approaches.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are comprehensive and directly address the topic question. Use clear topic sentences and supporting details in each body paragraph to maintain coherence and cohesion.
task response
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support the main points. Ensure that all ideas presented are directly related to the topic question and task. Remember to fully address both the advantages and disadvantages of living in a house versus living in an apartment.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to include a wider variety of words and phrases. Use more precise and appropriate language to convey your ideas effectively and to avoid repetition.
grammatical range
Work on using a wider variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use correct punctuation to improve the overall grammatical accuracy of your writing.
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