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Band 7

The bar chart shows the results of the survey conducted over a three-year period to discover what people who live in London thought of the city

The bar chart shows the results of the survey conducted over a three-year period to discover what people who live in London thought of the city
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The bar chart illustrates what citizens in London thought of different
aspects
Use synonyms
 of the city in three years.
Overall
Linking Words
, the range of shops was repeatedly regarded as the best facet of
this
Linking Words
 city by the largest proportion of Londoners, followed by employment opportunities and the diversity of
people
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 the only aspect that saw a steady rise in approval rates was museums &
art
Correct word choice
and art
show examples
 galleries, the city’s nightlife and transport system witnessed some fluctuation. Regarding
aspects
Use synonyms
 with the highest rate of approval, 45% of respondents in the survey chose the variety of shops in London as the best thing about life in
this
Linking Words
 city in
year
Use synonyms
 1, with subsequent slight fluctuation in the next two years. Meanwhile,
although
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 were slightly more likely to give good ratings to the availability of jobs than the diversity of
people
Use synonyms
 in the first
year
Use synonyms
, these
aspects
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 saw good ratings drop slightly to exactly 35% in the third
year
Use synonyms
 of the survey. As for the other
aspects
Use synonyms
, which have lower approvals, museums &
art
Correct word choice
and art
show examples
 galleries,
along with
Linking Words
 transport, received the same approval rate of 22.5% in
year
Use synonyms
 1, but proportionally, more
people
Use synonyms
 rated them as the best facets of life in London, with respective figures of 26% and 25%.
Finally
Linking Words
, nightlife’s rating dropped significantly from 25% in
year
Use synonyms
 1 to 20% in
year
Use synonyms
 2, before bouncing back to 22% in
year
Use synonyms
 3.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words aspects, people, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey
  • results
  • conducted
  • three-year period
  • discover
  • thought
  • city
  • overall satisfaction
  • opinions
  • safety and security
  • transportation
  • perceptions
  • cleanliness
  • cultural and recreational activities
  • attitudes
  • cost of living
  • feedback
  • healthcare services
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