Children in many countries are eating more fast food and convenience snacks. Why are children doing this and hoxw serious are the consequences?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is a sad fact that juveniles
eats
Change the verb form
eat
show examples
more junk
food
Use synonyms
and
prepreaid
Correct your spelling
prepared
prepaid
snacks worldwide. There are
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
of reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
scenario and it can lead to serious results in future.
This
Linking Words
eassay
Correct your spelling
essay
will
further
Linking Words
discuss all the possible causes and how
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
will affect
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals' life. Analysing the causes and explaining
further
Linking Words
,
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
and
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
most reason is
hectic
Add an article
a hectic
the hectic
show examples
schedule of both parents and children and lack of knowledge.In
this
Linking Words
fast
Add a comma
,pace
show examples
pace
Correct your spelling
paced
show examples
world one must have money for basic
necessity
Fix the agreement mistake
necessities
show examples
and they have to do hard work so parents
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
have time to look after
thier
Correct your spelling
their
children's diet and eating habits.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
,addition
show examples
fast
food
Use synonyms
is cheaper and easily available everywhere.
Thus
Linking Words
, children are more
attract
Change the form of the verb
attracted
show examples
to street
food
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Advertisement of
this
Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
is so
eye catching
Add a hyphen
eye-catching
show examples
that pupils can't resist their urge to buy convenience supplies.Other than that , there are different varieties of
this
Linking Words
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
and it tastes delicious that juveniles can't control. There
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
numerous serious
consequnces
Correct your spelling
consequences
of eating too much
food
Use synonyms
from
street
Correct article usage
the street
show examples
and
reasturants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
.
firstly
Linking Words
it contains lots of calories and fat. Consuming too much fat is not good for health as it increases
cholesterol
Add an article
the cholesterol
show examples
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
in
body
Add an article
the body
show examples
it will
results
Change the verb form
result
show examples
in more chance of getting heart attacks and
storke
Correct your spelling
stroke
strokes
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
young age. consumption of junk
food
Use synonyms
can lead to obesity and
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
show examples
lifestyle. Too much sugary drinks consumption might lead to
diebetes
Correct your spelling
diabetes
which is not
curable
Add an article
a curable
show examples
disease. fast
food
Use synonyms
contains preservatives that effects
body
Add an article
the body
show examples
in harmful
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
. By agglomerating all the points
affermentioned
Correct your spelling
aforementioned
above , there are many causes of eating too much
food
Use synonyms
from outside but it can lead to hazardous results in future.
Submitted by bhumikashah1414 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: