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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people believe that educational standards have declined in recent times, particularly in the areas of literacy and numeracy. Discuss the causes of this problem and offer some possible solutions to it.

#people #standards #times #areas #literacy #numeracy #offer
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 perception in many parts of the world today that educational standards are in decline. In the following essay, I aim to identify the sources of
this
 problem
as well as
 some viable solutions to it. From my perspective, one of the most significant obstacles to learning in schools today is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of discipline.
While
 the teachers of previous generations were able to maintain order through the use of corporal
punishment
,
such
 methods are no longer permitted.
This
 has left many teachers powerless to control unruly
students
. The resultant misbehaviour and inattention on the part of
students
 seriously
undermines
Change the verb form
undermine
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 the learning process. If educational standards are to be raised,
therefore
, it is crucial that classroom discipline be restored. Admittedly, there are numerous alternatives to corporal
punishment
, which is frowned upon by many these days.
Nonetheless
, I remain firmly convinced that physical forms of
punishment
 are often the most effective method of behaviour management. Another major contributing factor
in
Change preposition
to
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 the sub-standard academic achievement of today’s
students
 is the undue attention that many schools give to “soft”
subjects
 like music, art and drama. Interesting though they may be, these
subjects
 simply serve to distract
students
 from more important and practical
subjects
 like mathematics and English. The more time a student spends learning how to paint,
for instance
, the less time they spend learning how to read. In order to improve educational outcomes,
therefore
, we must ensure that core
subjects
 are not neglected. In reality, of course,
this
 is a vast oversimplification of the issue. Solutions
such
 as the reintroduction of corporal
punishment
 would be problematic in themselves.
However
, I believe that the hard way is sometimes the best way.
Submitted by minaanazifi on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Numeracy
  • Literacy
  • Standardized testing
  • Economic disparities
  • Inequality
  • Underprivileged communities
  • Immediate gratification
  • Foundational subjects
  • Professional development
  • Holistic approach
  • Comprehensive reforms
  • Socio-economic background
  • Engaged
  • Traditional methods
What to do next:
Look at other essays: