In traditional or religious festivals. during festival periods people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves to what extent you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In
this
contemporary era, it is argued that people nowadays want themselves to
set
Add a missing verb
be set
show examples
free and only enjoy during festivals and traditional occasions. In my opinion, I completely agree with
this
statement because they are completely influenced by social media and it provides them the instant gratification. In conclusion, I wholeheartedly agree that individuals are showing interest in enjoying their special cultural occasions because of the dependency and influence on platforms like
facebook
Capitalize word
Facebook
show examples
&
instagra
Correct your spelling
Instagram
, and
also
the satisfaction that they gain
due to
social gatherings.
Submitted by chandralekha1993 on

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task achievement
Expand your ideas with clear and relevant examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into separate paragraphs for introduction, main points, and conclusion.
task achievement
Elaborate on each main point to ensure your ideas are comprehensive and well-developed.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a straightforward response to the prompt.
task achievement
The main points you raised—social media influence and instant gratification—are relevant to the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • commercialization
  • cultural heritage
  • globalization
  • individualism
  • instant gratification
  • media influence
  • traditional customs
  • religious significance
  • contemporary festivities
  • blend
  • preserving traditions
  • generational differences
  • broad societal changes
  • collective activities
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