In traditional or religious festivals. during festival periods people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves to what extent you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#festivals #periods #people

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this

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contemporary era, it is argued that people nowadays want themselves to

set

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be set

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free and only enjoy during festivals and traditional occasions. In my opinion, I completely agree with

this

Linking Words

statement because they are completely influenced by social media and it provides them the instant gratification. In conclusion, I wholeheartedly agree that individuals are showing interest in enjoying their special cultural occasions because of the dependency and influence on platforms like

facebook

Capitalize word

Facebook

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instagra

Correct your spelling

Instagram

, and

also

Linking Words

the satisfaction that they gain

due to

Linking Words

social gatherings.

Submitted by chandralekha1993 on Wed Aug 09 2023

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task achievement

Expand your ideas with clear and relevant examples to strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Organize your essay into separate paragraphs for introduction, main points, and conclusion.

task achievement

Elaborate on each main point to ensure your ideas are comprehensive and well-developed.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a straightforward response to the prompt.

task achievement

The main points you raised—social media influence and instant gratification—are relevant to the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

86 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

commercialization
cultural heritage
globalization
individualism
instant gratification
media influence
traditional customs
religious significance
contemporary festivities
blend
preserving traditions
generational differences
broad societal changes
collective activities

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In traditional or religious festivals. during festival periods people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves to what extent you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some scientists believe intelligent life forms may exist in other planets and some want to send messages to the space to contact with these life forms. But other scientists believe it is a bad idea and it could be dangerous discuss both ideas and give your own opinion.

Society is based on rules and laws. If individuals were free to do whatever they want to do, it could not function. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?

Some people think that e-books are the death of paper book. While other things that paper book will never disappear. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.