Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some people think that having these people to give a talk to school students is the best way to tell them about dangers of committing a crime. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #prison #citizens #talk #school #students #dangers #crime

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Crime

education for

school

students

has long been a major topic of concern in society. There is a common belief that talks by

ex-prisoners

should be held at

school

to inform

students

of the threats when a

crime

is committed.

While

I accept that

this

practice is beneficial in a few ways, I believe there are many better measures of

crime

prevention. There are certain benefits of having

ex-prisoners

talking

Wrong verb form

talk

show examples

students

about the hazards that are associated with

crimes

. The most obvious benefit is to educate

students

about the general

knowledge

crimes

. Those who committed a

crime

surely have gathered

knowledge

about

crimes

and the common motives of

crimes

, not only from their wrongdoings but

also

from communication with other criminals. From

this

students

may learn the early signs of

crimes

what

Correct word choice

and what

show examples

they should be aware of to enhance self-regulation to prevent

crimes

In addition

ex-prisoners

are those who underwent a long process of imprisonment and rehabilitation, so their

life-stories

Correct your spelling

life stories

show examples

are often a great source of real-life experiences of not only what prisoners are deprived of but

also

how regretful they feel. These stories, once verbalised, may deter

students

from carrying out a

crime

However

, I am convinced that there are better solutions to prevent

crimes

. The most important measure is to introduce criminology as a subject at

school

, with both compulsory taught lessons and student-centred seminars.

While

life-stories

Correct your spelling

life stories

show examples

ex-prisoners

are often biased, criminology

knowledge

is scientifically proven based on a large set of data and is much more reliable than a few single persons’ stories. With

this

method,

students

can learn all the necessary

knowledge

about

crimes

through the lens of science and

therefore

have a holistic view

Change preposition

show examples

crimes

and

crime

prevention. The other measure is to film the harsh daily lives of prisoners and show

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

school

students

Ex-prisoners

’ talks can be persuasive, but films with vivid images

are be

Change the verb form

are

show examples

much more visually attractive to

students

and

thus

have a greater deterrent impact.

To conclude

, I am of the opinion that

although

talks by

ex-prisoners

are of good

values

Fix the agreement mistake

value

show examples

school

students

, there are stronger

crime

-prevention measures

such

as the introduction of criminology as a

school

subject.

Submitted by [email protected] on Wed Aug 09 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

364 words

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Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some people think that having these people to give a talk to school students is the best way to tell them about dangers of committing a crime. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that people in senior positions alone should make decisions in a business, while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process too. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some say that students should not be exposed to teachers' opinions on social and political issues in the classroom. Others, however, think that it is helpful for students to hear various perspectives. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

‏Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. ‏Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development.

Some people believe that it is better language students in small classes. others think the number of people in the classes doesnot matter. Discuss both these views and give your own opnion.