Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some people think that having these people to give a talk to school students is the best way to tell them about dangers of committing a crime. Do you agree or disagree?

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Crime

Use synonyms

education for

school

Use synonyms

students

Use synonyms

has long been a major topic of concern in society. There is a common belief that talks by

ex-prisoners

Use synonyms

should be held at

school

Use synonyms

to inform

students

Use synonyms

of the threats when a

crime

Use synonyms

is committed.

While

Linking Words

I accept that

this

Linking Words

practice is beneficial in a few ways, I believe there are many better measures of

crime

Use synonyms

prevention. There are certain benefits of having

ex-prisoners

Use synonyms

talking

Wrong verb form

talk

show examples

students

Use synonyms

about the hazards that are associated with

crimes

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. The most obvious benefit is to educate

students

Use synonyms

about the general

knowledge

Use synonyms

crimes

Use synonyms

. Those who committed a

crime

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surely have gathered

knowledge

Use synonyms

about

crimes

Use synonyms

and the common motives of

crimes

Use synonyms

, not only from their wrongdoings but

also

Linking Words

from communication with other criminals. From

this

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

may learn the early signs of

crimes

Use synonyms

what

Correct word choice

and what

show examples

they should be aware of to enhance self-regulation to prevent

crimes

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

ex-prisoners

Use synonyms

are those who underwent a long process of imprisonment and rehabilitation, so their

life-stories

Correct your spelling

life stories

show examples

are often a great source of real-life experiences of not only what prisoners are deprived of but

also

Linking Words

how regretful they feel. These stories, once verbalised, may deter

students

Use synonyms

from carrying out a

crime

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However

Linking Words

, I am convinced that there are better solutions to prevent

crimes

Use synonyms

. The most important measure is to introduce criminology as a subject at

school

Use synonyms

, with both compulsory taught lessons and student-centred seminars.

While

Linking Words

life-stories

Correct your spelling

life stories

show examples

ex-prisoners

Use synonyms

are often biased, criminology

knowledge

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is scientifically proven based on a large set of data and is much more reliable than a few single persons’ stories. With

this

Linking Words

method,

students

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can learn all the necessary

knowledge

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about

crimes

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through the lens of science and

therefore

Linking Words

have a holistic view

Change preposition

show examples

crimes

Use synonyms

and

crime

Use synonyms

prevention. The other measure is to film the harsh daily lives of prisoners and show

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

school

Use synonyms

students

Use synonyms

Ex-prisoners

Use synonyms

’ talks can be persuasive, but films with vivid images

are be

Change the verb form

are

show examples

much more visually attractive to

students

Use synonyms

and

thus

Linking Words

have a greater deterrent impact.

To conclude

Linking Words

, I am of the opinion that

although

Linking Words

talks by

ex-prisoners

Use synonyms

are of good

values

Fix the agreement mistake

value

show examples

school

Use synonyms

students

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, there are stronger

crime

Use synonyms

-prevention measures

such

Linking Words

as the introduction of criminology as a

school

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subject.

[email protected]Wed Aug 09 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

364 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

reformed individuals
real-life examples
consequences of crime
instill fear
make better life choices
educational programs
rehabilitation process
relatable role models
backgrounds
redemption
glorifying
send the wrong message
educators
law enforcement

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Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some people think that having these people to give a talk to school students is the best way to tell them about dangers of committing a crime. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe the primary purpose of museums is to entertain people, while others believe their purpose is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Most of our information comes from the internet nowadays. Some people say that a large part of the information we get is incorrect. Do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter to the restaurant manager. In your letter: •Give details of the food and services you ordered •Describe the problems that occurred •Explain what you want the restaurant to do

The advantages brought by the spread of English as “a global language” will outweigh the disadvantages. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently. To what extent do you agree or disagree?