Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some people think that having these people to give a talk to school students is the best way to tell them about dangers of committing a crime. Do you agree or disagree?

Crime
education for
school
students
has long been a major topic of concern in society. There is a common belief that talks by
ex-prisoners
should be held at
school
to inform
students
of the threats when a
crime
is committed.
While
I accept that
this
practice is beneficial in a few ways, I believe there are many better measures of
crime
prevention. There are certain benefits of having
ex-prisoners
talking
Wrong verb form
talk
show examples
to
students
about the hazards that are associated with
crimes
. The most obvious benefit is to educate
students
about the general
knowledge
of
crimes
. Those who committed a
crime
surely have gathered
knowledge
about
crimes
and the common motives of
crimes
, not only from their wrongdoings but
also
from communication with other criminals. From
this
,
students
may learn the early signs of
crimes
,
what
Correct word choice
and what
show examples
they should be aware of to enhance self-regulation to prevent
crimes
.
In addition
,
ex-prisoners
are those who underwent a long process of imprisonment and rehabilitation, so their
life-stories
Correct your spelling
life stories
show examples
are often a great source of real-life experiences of not only what prisoners are deprived of but
also
how regretful they feel. These stories, once verbalised, may deter
students
from carrying out a
crime
.
However
, I am convinced that there are better solutions to prevent
crimes
. The most important measure is to introduce criminology as a subject at
school
, with both compulsory taught lessons and student-centred seminars.
While
life-stories
Correct your spelling
life stories
show examples
of
ex-prisoners
are often biased, criminology
knowledge
is scientifically proven based on a large set of data and is much more reliable than a few single persons’ stories. With
this
method,
students
can learn all the necessary
knowledge
about
crimes
through the lens of science and
therefore
have a holistic view
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
crimes
and
crime
prevention. The other measure is to film the harsh daily lives of prisoners and show
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
to
school
students
.
Ex-prisoners
’ talks can be persuasive, but films with vivid images
are be
Change the verb form
are
show examples
much more visually attractive to
students
and
thus
have a greater deterrent impact.
To conclude
, I am of the opinion that
although
talks by
ex-prisoners
are of good
values
Fix the agreement mistake
value
show examples
to
school
students
, there are stronger
crime
-prevention measures
such
as the introduction of criminology as a
school
subject.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: