The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australia water consumption for last year.
The bar
chart
illustrates the water consumed by residents in Australia, while
the pie chart
describes water consuption
by sector, both during the year 2014.
Correct your spelling
consumption
Overall
, it can be observed that the cities of Perth and Brisbane had the higher consumption, while
the city of Camberra
had the lowest rates. Correct your spelling
Canberra
On the other hand
, agriculture was the sector with the biggest percentage.
Firstly
, it is worth noting that in the bar chart
the City of Perth consumes an Add a comma
,chart
avarege
of three hundred Correct your spelling
average
kilolitre
per property during 2014. Change to a plural noun
kilolitres
Also
, the City of Brisbane had a high consumption rate of about two hundred kilolitre
per property, Change to a plural noun
kilolitres
while
Camberra
Correct your spelling
Canberra
cosumed
below 150 Correct your spelling
consumed
kilolitre
.
Change to a plural noun
kilolitres
Subsequently
, in the pie chart
it can be observed that Agriculture represents Add a comma
,chart
the
67% of Correct article usage
apply
overall
water Correct article usage
the overall
consuption
, Correct your spelling
consumption
while
the other sectors had a consumtion
rate below 10% of the total. Correct your spelling
consumption
For example
. although
manufacturing consumed just 4%, mining consumed 2%, been
these two the smallest slices of the pie Unnecessary verb
apply
chart
.Submitted by jorgederecho on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 5 times.
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