The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australia water consumption for last year.

#bar #australian #water #consumption #cities #year #distribution #australia

The bar

chart

illustrates the water consumed by residents in Australia,

while

the pie

chart

describes water

consuption

Correct your spelling

consumption

by sector, both during the year 2014.

Overall

, it can be observed that the cities of Perth and Brisbane had the higher consumption,

while

the city of

Camberra

Correct your spelling

Canberra

had the lowest rates.

On the other hand

, agriculture was the sector with the biggest percentage.

Firstly

, it is worth noting that in the bar

chart

Add a comma

,chart

show examples

the City of Perth consumes an

avarege

Correct your spelling

average

of three hundred

kilolitre

Change to a plural noun

kilolitres

show examples

per property during 2014.

Also

, the City of Brisbane had a high consumption rate of about two hundred

kilolitre

Change to a plural noun

kilolitres

show examples

per property,

while

Camberra

Correct your spelling

Canberra

cosumed

Correct your spelling

consumed

below 150

kilolitre

Change to a plural noun

kilolitres

show examples

Subsequently

, in the pie

chart

Add a comma

,chart

show examples

it can be observed that Agriculture represents

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

67% of

overall

Correct article usage

the overall

show examples

water

consuption

Correct your spelling

consumption

while

the other sectors had a

consumtion

Correct your spelling

consumption

rate below 10% of the total.

For example

although

manufacturing consumed just 4%, mining consumed 2%,

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

these two the smallest slices of the pie

chart

Submitted by jorgederecho on Thu Aug 10 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words chart with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 5 times.

▼

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

161 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

average consumption
distribution
sector
domestic use
industrial use
agricultural use
urban areas
rural areas
trend
resource management
policy implications
ecosystem impact

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The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australia water consumption for last year.

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