The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australia water consumption for last year.

#bar #australian #water #consumption #cities #year #distribution #australia

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The bar

chart

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illustrates the water consumed by residents in Australia,

while

Linking Words

the pie

chart

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describes water

consuption

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consumption

by sector, both during the year 2014.

Overall

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, it can be observed that the cities of Perth and Brisbane had the higher consumption,

while

Linking Words

the city of

Camberra

Correct your spelling

Canberra

had the lowest rates.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, agriculture was the sector with the biggest percentage.

Firstly

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, it is worth noting that in the bar

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chart

Add a comma

,chart

show examples

the City of Perth consumes an

avarege

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average

of three hundred

kilolitre

Change to a plural noun

kilolitres

show examples

per property during 2014.

Also

Linking Words

, the City of Brisbane had a high consumption rate of about two hundred

kilolitre

Change to a plural noun

kilolitres

show examples

per property,

while

Linking Words

Camberra

Correct your spelling

Canberra

cosumed

Correct your spelling

consumed

below 150

kilolitre

Change to a plural noun

kilolitres

show examples

Subsequently

Linking Words

, in the pie

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chart

Add a comma

,chart

show examples

it can be observed that Agriculture represents

the

Correct article usage

apply

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67% of

Linking Words

overall

Correct article usage

the overall

show examples

water

consuption

Correct your spelling

consumption

while

Linking Words

the other sectors had a

consumtion

Correct your spelling

consumption

rate below 10% of the total.

For example

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

manufacturing consumed just 4%, mining consumed 2%,

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

these two the smallest slices of the pie

chart

Use synonyms

Submitted by jorgederecho on Thu Aug 10 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 5 times.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

161 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

average consumption
distribution
sector
domestic use
industrial use
agricultural use
urban areas
rural areas
trend
resource management
policy implications
ecosystem impact

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The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australia water consumption for last year.

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

The qualities of a person to be successful in a real world cannot be learned from a university or similar academic institution. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.

In many countries, international tourism has become an important source of income. However, it also has negative effects. Do the benefits of international tourism outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think visual images (like photographs and video) can tell information more accurately in a news story. Others think they are not reliable sources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.