The line graph shows the average number of weekly patieents vivsiting four clinics of a hospital form 2010 to 2016.

#line #patieents #four #clinics #form

The line graph gives information about the average figures every week of

patients

who visited

hospital

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the hospital

a hospital

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in terms of four different clinics (birth control, eye, diabetic, and dental) in a six-year period.

Overall

, the numbers of all increased between 2010 and 2016 except for birth control.

While

the biggest number

Change the preposition

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the end of the illustration was eye

patients

went to the hospital for diabetes, and dental clinics were the least. Starting at almost 125

patients

per week, people visiting hospitals because of eye problems gradually raised and reach 350 in 2016.

In contrast

, the figure for controlling birth saw a different trend, it counted the most at first and increased until 2012, followed by a dramatic drop to about 125 in 2014. The

least

Correct your spelling

last

show examples

two, diabetic, and dental, still remained the least in the

last

time given. The number of diabetic

patients

climbed steadily in the first year and reach a plateau from 2012 to 2014 and gradually ascend in the end,

Besides

, the figures for visiting dental clinics experienced a rally and creep up to almost 125 in 2016.

Submitted by hsukingg on Thu Aug 10 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words patients with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

182 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

line graph
average
weekly patients
clinics
hospital
trends
increases
decreases
peaks
troughs
fluctuations
comparative analysis
time period
consistent
inconsistent
gradual
sharp
decline
rise
remained stable
notable
significant

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The line graph shows the average number of weekly patieents vivsiting four clinics of a hospital form 2010 to 2016.

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before.Some people say anageing population creates problemsfor governments.Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

You have received an important document that needs to be translated. Write a letter to your friend and ask him/her to translate this important document for you. In your letter, explain - •why it is important for you •how fast you need it back •why you need his/her expertise

1.Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, most countries can improve the standard of living through economic development, but some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?