The line graph shows the average number of weekly patieents vivsiting four clinics of a hospital form 2010 to 2016.

#line #patieents #four #clinics #form

The line graph gives information about the average figures every week of

patients

who visited

hospital

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the hospital

a hospital

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in terms of four different clinics (birth control, eye, diabetic, and dental) in a six-year period.

Overall

, the numbers of all increased between 2010 and 2016 except for birth control.

While

the biggest number

Change the preposition

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the end of the illustration was eye

patients

went to the hospital for diabetes, and dental clinics were the least. Starting at almost 125

patients

per week, people visiting hospitals because of eye problems gradually raised and reach 350 in 2016.

In contrast

, the figure for controlling birth saw a different trend, it counted the most at first and increased until 2012, followed by a dramatic drop to about 125 in 2014. The

least

Correct your spelling

last

show examples

two, diabetic, and dental, still remained the least in the

last

time given. The number of diabetic

patients

climbed steadily in the first year and reach a plateau from 2012 to 2014 and gradually ascend in the end,

Besides

, the figures for visiting dental clinics experienced a rally and creep up to almost 125 in 2016.

Submitted by hsukingg on Thu Aug 10 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words patients with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

182 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

line graph
average
weekly patients
clinics
hospital
trends
increases
decreases
peaks
troughs
fluctuations
comparative analysis
time period
consistent
inconsistent
gradual
sharp
decline
rise
remained stable
notable
significant

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The line graph shows the average number of weekly patieents vivsiting four clinics of a hospital form 2010 to 2016.

Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia. As many as tow thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsibility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Genetically engineered food is an important issue in modern society. Some people think that it will improve people's lives in many ways. Others feel that it may be a threat to life on earth. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion.

Social media helps people to keep in touch with friends and stay on top of news and events. Do you think the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

An average British child watches television for more than 20 hours in a week and indulge in 7 hours of physical activity. What is the situation in your country and what are the causes of it? What are the solution to overcome the same?