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Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph shows the average number of weekly patieents vivsiting four clinics of a hospital form 2010 to 2016.

The line graph shows the average number of weekly patieents vivsiting four clinics of a hospital form 2010 to 2016.
#line #patieents #four #clinics #form
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The line graph gives information about the average figures every week of
patients
Use synonyms
 who visited
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
a hospital
show examples
 in terms of four different clinics (birth control, eye, diabetic, and dental) in a six-year period.
Overall
Linking Words
, the numbers of all increased between 2010 and 2016 except for birth control.
While
Linking Words
 the biggest number
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the illustration was eye
patients
Use synonyms
,
patients
Use synonyms
 went to the hospital for diabetes, and dental clinics were the least. Starting at almost 125
patients
Use synonyms
 per week, people visiting hospitals because of eye problems gradually raised and reach 350 in 2016.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the figure for controlling birth saw a different trend, it counted the most at first and increased until 2012, followed by a dramatic drop to about 125 in 2014. The
least
Correct your spelling
last
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 two, diabetic, and dental, still remained the least in the
last
Linking Words
 time given. The number of diabetic
patients
Use synonyms
 climbed steadily in the first year and reach a plateau from 2012 to 2014 and gradually ascend in the end,
Besides
Linking Words
, the figures for visiting dental clinics experienced a rally and creep up to almost 125 in 2016.
Submitted by hsukingg on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words patients with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • line graph
  • average
  • weekly patients
  • clinics
  • hospital
  • trends
  • increases
  • decreases
  • peaks
  • troughs
  • fluctuations
  • comparative analysis
  • time period
  • consistent
  • inconsistent
  • gradual
  • sharp
  • decline
  • rise
  • remained stable
  • notable
  • significant
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