IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In the future it may be necessary for us to live on other planets. For this reason, some people believe that we should spend money now to research other planets, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The exploration of other planets has been increasing with
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
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 technology.
According to
Linking Words
 some communities, we should spend more money on research on planets like Mars. In my view, we should spend more
expenditures
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apply
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on our existing planet would be better, so I disagree with the above statement.
Linking Words
firstly
Fix capitalization
Firstly
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, we are living on the globe
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 our first priority should be to make our world better by providing basic facilities around the globe.
Such
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 as education, electricity, food, water and many
necessary
Correct word choice
other necessary
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 facilities. As several populations are dying because of the unavailability of these things,
so
Rephrase
apply
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the government need to spend more money on basic survival things rather than doing research.
Secondly
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, we should have to empathise
for
Change preposition
with
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 more research on
earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
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 to make it
further
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 fascinating. As I believe, the surface is
enough
Correct determiner usage
a
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 beautiful place to live in compared to others because it provides us with all the important stuff.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it would not be a good idea to ignore the community of
this
Linking Words
 area and
make
Verb problem
waste
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 our time waste on living on other planets.
if
Fix capitalization
If
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 we
will
Verb problem
apply
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make
this
Linking Words
 place better by giving all the required stuff to common people, we don't need to live on another planet.
For example
Linking Words
, more observation is required about global warming to make our surroundings better.
it
Fix capitalization
It
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 controls the temperature of the
earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
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.
in Conclusion
Use the right word
In conclusion
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,
while
Linking Words
 some human beings believe that spending more resources on other global
, I
Check wording
issues, I
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 too think providing main facilities to the common nation and doing more experiments
on
Change preposition
in
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 our existing place would make it better for all species.

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tip
The view is clear but the plan is weak. Start with a short intro that says your view. Then give two clear points that you can explain well.
tip
Give small, real ideas as facts or notes to back each point. Use simple examples like urban life, water, or heat in the air.
tip
Fix grammar and use simple, calm sentences. Use a clear end that restates your view.
strength
Your view on the topic is clear and kept through the piece.
strength
There is some order with words like first and second.
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