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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You should The chart and table below give information about tourists at a particular holiday resort in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

You should The chart and table below give information about tourists at a particular holiday resort in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #tourists #holiday #resort #australia #summarise #features #comparisons
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The pie chart and table show the statistics of
tourists
Use synonyms
 at a particular holiday resort in Australia. The pie chart presents the proportion of the tourist’s nationality. The table
also
Linking Words
 statistics more detailed information about the
tourists
Use synonyms
, including the average staying period, preferred accommodation and Marjory activities.
According to
Linking Words
 the first chart,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the largest category of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourists
Use synonyms
 came from Asia, with 37%. After that, about 35% of
tourists
Use synonyms
 came from Europe. At the same time,
tourists
Use synonyms
 who come from America are only 18% of the total. Apart from Asia, Europe and America, about 10% of the
tourists
Use synonyms
 came from other countries. It shows most Asians and Europeans prefer a particular holiday resort in Australia.
According to
Linking Words
 the second graph, it is evident that the average staying period was 16
days
Use synonyms
 for European
tourists
Use synonyms
,
14
Correct word choice
and 14
show examples
days
Use synonyms
 for American
tourists
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the group of
tourists
Use synonyms
 from other regions usually stay for 10
days
Use synonyms
. Asian
tourists
Use synonyms
 stayed for 7
days
Use synonyms
 on average.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, on most popular accommodations, Asian
tourists
Use synonyms
 prefer the 5-star hotel, and American
tourists
Use synonyms
 prefer the 4-star hotel.
However
Linking Words
,
both
Change preposition
in both
show examples
 Europe and other regions
tourists
Use synonyms
 enjoy camping or caravan rather than hotels.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, on the main activity, both Asian and American
tourists
Use synonyms
 prefer sightseeing. European
tourists
Use synonyms
 enjoy swimming and sunbathing,
Correct word choice
while
show examples
other regions
tourists
Use synonyms
 have fun surfing.
Submitted by chowyeewing19 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tourists, days with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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