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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #changes #percentage #people #australia #town #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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This
Linking Words
 bar chart provides information about the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who were born in
Australia
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 and outside
Australia
Use synonyms
 living in urban, town and rural in 1995 and 2010. Units are given in
percentage
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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living in
cities
Use synonyms
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
born in
Australia
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 and outside
Australia
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 has the highest
percentage
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through
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1995 to 2010,
while
Linking Words
living
Correct pronoun usage
those living
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 in towns and rural
areas'
Change noun form
areas
show examples
 statistics are fluctuating
through
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the year. As can be seen from the chart in detail, in 1995,
people
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 who are living in
cities
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 and who were born in
Australia
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 and outside
Australia
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 figured out nearly over
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
50% and reached the highest number.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who reside in towns have the lowest
percentage
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, at least under 20%, which figured doubled down than
cities
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'
percentage
Use synonyms
. In 2010,
people
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 who are living in
cities
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 and who were born in
Australia
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 and outside
Australia
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 figured out the highest
percentage
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 and numbers are
grown
Change the form of the verb
growing
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 up, nearly over
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
60%.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the towns and rural
areas'
Change noun form
areas
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's percentages have declined than before, which reached less
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 20%.
Submitted by ehlight22 on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 74%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, people, australia, cities with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figured" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Demographic
  • Trends
  • Urban areas
  • Rural areas
  • Town
  • Native-born
  • Foreign-born
  • Migration patterns
  • Economic factors
  • Government policies
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Steady
  • Peak
  • Trough
  • Time frame
  • Significant changes
  • Distribution
  • Notable
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