IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that governments should pay for health care and education, but others believe it is not government’s responsibility. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #health #care #education #government’s #responsibility
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Having the accessibility of basic
human-needs
Correct your spelling
human needs
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 is everyone's right.
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 believe medical and educational services need to be funded by the government, others opine it is not necessarily required. I agree with the former point of view because
availability
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the availability
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 of
such
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 free services can undoubtedly enhance the
quality-of-life
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quality of life
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 of citizens. On the one hand, those
who
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whom
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asset
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assert
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 that the government is not
obligatory
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obligated
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 to bear the cost of health care and education may believe that it is a self-responsibility of one and all.
This
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 is because available benefits of maintaining
healthy
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a healthy
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 lifestyle and pursuing studies are
self-centered
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self-centred
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 and
hence
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, it is required to afford the financial burden by
people
Use synonyms
 with themselves.
However
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, I believe it is not
favorable
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favourable
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 for everyone,
in
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apply
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particularly, those who are
less-privileged
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less privileged
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 and potentially make them suffer from illness and literacy
result
Wrong verb form
resulting
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 in an unhappy life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, those who advocate in
favor
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favour
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 of government-funded healthcare and education illustrate
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the capability of enhancing good living standards of
people
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.
This
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 implies that having cost-free access to medication and achieving academic prospects significantly improve both
physical
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the physical
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 and mental well-being of many individuals facilitating a quality way of living. Free education,
for example
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, allows students to learn despite their social status and financial instability. Eventually, those are qualified to own an occupation with a handsome salary and prosperous life. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint as it can potentially benefit everybody
similarly
Linking Words
 in a country and excel their lives in a positive direction. In conclusion,
although
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 it is reasonable to make
people
Use synonyms
 afford their own medical and educational
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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 individually, allocating funds for those services by the government facilitates
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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more
accessible
Replace the word
accessibility
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 and
efficient
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efficiency
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 for all and
therefore
Linking Words
 it is
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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paramount.
Submitted by drasikad on

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