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Band 4

A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#person #status #possessions #values #honour #kindness #trust
In the old
days
Add a comma
,days
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people
's values were depending on their morality, how
nobel
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Nobel
noble
show examples
 a person is.
However
, it appears to me that
this
 is not the case nowadays.
People
 are now judged based on their social status and work possessions. I will be sharing my own opinion
around
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
 matter in
this
 essay. In the modern
days
,
people
 do indeed judge a person depending only on shallow basis,
for
instance
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,instance
show examples
 their backgrounds, are they well educated?
,
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apply
show examples
 do they have a prestigious job?
,
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apply
show examples
in addition
 to questioning their current spouse. Even though being a
well rounded
Add a hyphen
well-rounded
show examples
 member of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society is a great thing,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 still do not consider it to be the only way to judge a person. Just because someone owns a great business, or if they belong to a family with great wealth, that does not make them anything special. and
that is
 exactly the old-fashioned values. I respect the
people
 in the old
days
, for they knew that
humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
show examples
 worth comes mostly from being kind, generous and most importantly trust worthy. We see now that a lot of
people
 who work with sophisticated and
well possessioned
Add a hyphen
well-possessioned
show examples
 society members are really struggling
,
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apply
show examples
 because it appears that those respected
people
 are nothing but humans with no morality, and are far away from being humble. It is true that the old
days
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
 had
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
immoral
people
, yet
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 cannot be compared to our modern community members, for they are far worst. In the end,
i
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I
show examples
 will not say that having a nice possession in our society is a bad thing,
however
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,however
show examples
 I am really convinced that
this
 is not the right way to judge ones worth. One should be humble, honest and shall never lose morality.
Submitted by asdafalahmadi.853 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social status
  • material possessions
  • old-fashioned values
  • honour
  • kindness
  • trust
  • empathy
  • media influence
  • self-worth
  • metrics of success
  • financial achievements
  • community contributions
  • superficial connections
  • emotional bonds
  • life satisfaction
  • stress and anxiety
  • policy changes
  • community programs
  • restoring balance
  • personal character
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