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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the average growth in domestic products in wealthy countries, countries that have adopted a global approach to business and countries that have not.

The graph below shows the average growth in domestic products in wealthy countries, countries that have adopted a global approach to business and countries that have not.
#growth #products #countries #approach #business
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The bar chart illustrates the data about the average annual GDP growth in three kinds of
Add an article
the country
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country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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such
Linking Words
 as rich countries,
globalisers
Correct your spelling
globalised
, and
non-globalisers
Correct your spelling
non-globalised
 during a 30-year
period
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 from
1960s
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the 1960s
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 to
1990s
Correct article usage
the 1990s
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, there were many significant changes during the
period
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 the percentages of GDP of wealthy countries and
non-globalisers
Correct your spelling
non-globalised
non-globalists
 had downward trends,
globalisers
Correct your spelling
globalised
 dramatically rose in the proportion of domestic products between
1960s
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the 1960s
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 and 1990s. It can be clearly observed from the picture that wealthy countries accounted for the highest position in
three
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the three
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 types of
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the country
a country
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country
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countries
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 with roughly 2.0% in
1960s
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the 1960s
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, and experienced a considerable
decreased
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decrease
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 of nearly 2.0% in
19960s
Correct article usage
the 19960s
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 before gradually dropping to 2.0% during the next
period
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
 that,
globalisers
Correct your spelling
globalised
 reached the lowest point at over 1.0% at the beginning
,
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apply
show examples
 and
then
Linking Words
 had a sharp increase to approximately 5.0% which was the highest proportion in the average GDP growth in
1990s
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the 1990s
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. In terms of the others, the average annual Gross Domestic Products growth in
non-globalisers
Correct your spelling
non-globalised
non-globalists
 took
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place with 2.5%
at
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in
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 the first year.
While
Linking Words
 that percentage witnessed a slight increase to over 3.0% in
1970s
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the 1970s
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, it noticeably decreased to lower than 1.0% in the next ten-year
period
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 before climbing to 1.5%
at the end
Linking Words
 of time.
Submitted by luongduy30411996 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trends
  • affluent nations
  • global business orientation
  • sustained growth
  • investment in technology
  • skilled labor
  • fluctuations
  • global trade
  • vulnerability
  • global market shifts
  • steady growth
  • decline
  • reliance on local markets
  • limited exposure
  • economic downturns
  • implications
  • economic policies
  • strategies
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