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Band 1.5

Today, more people are overweight than ever before. What is your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this?

#people #effects
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There are two main causes. As societies grew in technology, the need for physically demanding
labor
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labour
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 has declined. And,
as a result
Linking Words
, more
people
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 chose stationary and less active jobs like desk jobs. These jobs don’t require much energy so
people
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 don't burn as
much
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many
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 calories as they used to, but still eat as much. Leading to excessive calories stored as fat in the body. Resulting in more overweight
people
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. The second complementary factor is fast
food
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.
People
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 used to spend
great
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a great
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 amount of time making
food
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 on a daily basis.
However
Linking Words
, as technology grows, modern production lines can process
food
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 at a remarkably fast rate.
Thus
Linking Words
, fast
food
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 can usually be served in less than an hour compared to traditional
food
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. And
people
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 spend
the
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their
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freed
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free
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 time eating more fast
food
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that is
Linking Words
 high in fat and calory.
As a result
Linking Words
, the overweight population increases.
Submitted by johnny sins on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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