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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the responsibility. What is your opinion?

#people #government #health #care #education #agreement #responsibility
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The question of whether the government should provide health care and education services freely has sparked heated debate. Proponents claim that
this
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 offers a better environment and improves happiness,
while
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 others argue that citizens
shall
Verb problem
should
show examples
 handle their own payments. In my viewpoint, a middle approach that combines government support and personal responsibility would be the best solution. In
this
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 essay, I will elucidate in more detail
along with
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 my own opinions.
To begin
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 with, the masses who already paid high taxes in developed countries opine that they should enjoy zero medical expenses and tuition
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
 since all cost is contained in what they already paid.
Moreover
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,
such
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 a measure is usually seen as a way to improve the gratification of the inhabitants, since they can be sure that they and their families will be well-taken.
On the other hand
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, opponents argue that the citizens should take duties on their own since
this
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 measure is a significant financial burden to the authority.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 decision will ultimately squeeze budgets that originally
plan
Wrong verb form
planned
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 for other infrastructures.
For instance
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, the construction of public transportation could be postponed or cancelled
due to
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 budget limitations. In conclusion, both perspectives share valid standpoints,
however
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,none of which provides a total solution. It is recommended to combine these two conflict ideas into one practical policy.
That is
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, the federal body can
subside
Verb problem
subsidise
show examples
 some portion of these expenses,
while
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 the whole expenditure is affordable.
Consequently
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, the public can share better services, in the meantime, other important constructions can continue to proceed.
Submitted by aaron.ten.tw on

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Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be more clear and comprehensive. Make sure to fully address all parts of the essay question.
Task Achievement
Ensure that all main points are relevant and supported with specific examples. Ensure that the response is complete and the ideas are clear.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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