Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #choices

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this

Linking Words

contemporary

era

Add a comma

,era

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a group of

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

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believe that we have access to a wide range of choices in every

approaches

Change to a singular noun

approach

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. I completely agree with

this

Linking Words

opinion as technology has simplified our lives and almost everything is accessible. It is my view that, owing to

developments

Correct article usage

the developments

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of different gadgets,

people

Use synonyms

can effortlessly select the type of

entertaining

Replace the word

entertainment

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or even purchase their basic commodities among a variation of products.

Moreover

Linking Words

, what technology did was

providing

Wrong verb form

provide

show examples

people

Use synonyms

with extended choices from a virtual local

bazar

Correct your spelling

bazaar

designer’s

Change noun form

designer

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brands

Change the punctuation

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, not only does it enhance the standards of living but

also

Linking Words

makes justice in order to accessibility from all over the world.

For example

Linking Words

, some goods used to produce specially for

people

Use synonyms

of a specific part of

world

Add an article

the world

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whereas

Linking Words

these days it is no longer a prohibition and even it is an opportunity to earn more profit.

In contrast

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, some

people

Use synonyms

believe that they do not have numerous choices as they cannot effort many goods. They insist that many options are for some unique groups of

people

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, I do not find

this

Linking Words

argument convincing as development is playing a vital role in

this

Linking Words

modern world.

In addition

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

should

Change the verb form

apply

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augment their situation as well, if they need a higher education level so as to better job positions and more money, they should strive

hardly

Change the word

hard

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to gain that prosperity.

Besides

Linking Words

, even

people

Use synonyms

have access to a large number of free courses which are highly beneficial for improvement.

For instance

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who argue that they cannot afford to pay for some educational courses,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can utilize some virtual classes

such

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as YouTube channels

instead

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of checking their social media.

To conclude

Linking Words

, I completely agree with the availability of numerous options in our lives because

due to

Linking Words

the investment in technology,

people

Use synonyms

have access to almost everything which used to

Add a missing verb

be an

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issue. Thanks to these

up-to-the-minues

Correct your spelling

up-to-the-minute

gadgets, lives became easier compared to the past.

Submitted by fatemeh.gh9797 on Fri Aug 11 2023

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15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

321 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

overwhelmed
decision fatigue
paralysis by analysis
consumerism
globalization
personal autonomy
market saturation
option overload
decision-making process
psychological well-being
buyer's remorse
customization
trade-offs
minimalism
information superhighway

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