Topic: Some people believe that children should spend more time participating in physical activities rather than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#topic #people #children #time #activities #computer #games

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Technological advancements have led

children

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to become couch potatoes and a discussion is making rounds on

this

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topic, suggesting that

children

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should participate more in sports than playing video

games

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on computers. I completely agree with the statement that the young generation should be encouraged to play more physical

games

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because it leads to the holistic development of a child. The essay will discuss more advantages of physical activities.

To begin

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with, physical activities like playing sports, exercising or swimming, are necessary for a healthy and fit body. These days, kids are eating a lot of junk food leading to obesity and

games

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or sports help in fighting not only obesity but

also

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its related diseases.

Therefore

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, it becomes important for them to indulge in any form of bodily

activity

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Additionally

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children

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sitting in front of computer screens all day long will have weak eyesight and it

also

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affects their brain

activity

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For instance

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, in the recent past, a lot of young

children

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went into mental shock after playing PUBG, a mobile combat game which was later banned by the government.

Thus

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, it is highly recommended to encourage youngsters to participate in any form of physical

activity

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this

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will help in relaxing their minds, resulting in better sleep patterns. To summarise, there is no doubt that

children

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should be playing more physical

games

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rather than indulging in

games

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on computers as physical

activity

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results in better fitness and a relaxed mind. Parents should their

children

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to be more involved in the physical world than the virtual world.

Submitted by bindiya.gupta01 on Thu Jul 18 2024

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task achievement

To improve task response, try to incorporate a few more specific examples or statistics to support your argument. This will provide a stronger backing to your points and make your essay more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

While the essay is coherent, enhance the logical flow between paragraphs by incorporating more transitional phrases or sentences. This will make the essay smoother to read and understand.

task achievement

Your essay provides a complete and clear response to the prompt. The main points are well-covered and relevant to the topic.

coherence cohesion

Both the introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay. They clearly state your position and summarize your argument well.

coherence cohesion

The essay’s main points are well-supported, with logical reasoning and pertinent examples.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic: Some people believe that children should spend more time participating in physical activities rather than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Cyber insecurity is a rising problem in many countries. What problems does a lack of cyber security cause to Internet users? What solutions can you suggest to solve it?

Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

schoole should stop using books for teaching to learn as they find them boring, and use films tv and computer instead. to what extent do you agree with this.

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.