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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The two maps depict the transformation of a bookshop over the course of two decades, from the year 2000 to the present.

The two maps depict the transformation of a bookshop over the course of two decades, from the year 2000 to the present.
The two maps depict the transformation of a bookshop over the course of two decades, from the year 2000 to the present. In general, the layout of the
bookstore
Use synonyms
 has undergone significant changes over time, especially in the location of various sections.
While
Linking Words
 the
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 of the
store
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 was crowded, in the movements of cooking, Hobbies and artistic units. The side, which is located in the north, has led to a more balanced distribution of content throughout the
store
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. The addition of the cafe
also
Linking Words
 improved customers' purchases, offering a comfortable space for reading, relaxing and enjoying a cup of coffee. In 2000, the central part of the
bookstore
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 was mainly occupied by cooking, hobbies and art units, and the shelf with book genres was divided into four parts, and the place of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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old sections was placed with a table and chairs in which people could sit and read their
favorite
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favourite
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books
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. In the western and east-west
corners
Add a comma
,corners
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 there were travel, new
books
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 and a support service, and the popular science section was located on the east side of the
store
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. Let's move to the present time, the
bookstore
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 has become more convenient for customers because the shelves with hobbies, art and cooking were moved north next to the genres, it was divided into four parts, and the place of old shelves was placed chairs and tables to make it convenient to read
books
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 to customers. The previous large art unit in the
north-eastern
Correct your spelling
northeastern
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 corner was replaced by a popular science section, and the cafe now occupies the south side of the
store
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, where the department of non-fiction once stood. The rest of the shelves with
books
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 were not changed, but the
bookstore
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 was given more space to the cafe, which makes it much better than in 2000.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words bookstore, store, books with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "depict" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "divided" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "move" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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