There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

#music #world #country

Music

plays a significant role in our

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

. There are different kinds of

music

in the world

Change preposition

show examples

present time. In my opinion, there are several reasons why we need

music

namely,

alleviate

Fix the infinitive

to alleviate

show examples

stress

, and unite

people

, I believe international

music

extremely crucial than traditional

music

To begin

with, the primary reason why we need

music

is to reduce

stress

. To illustrate, listening to

music

after

stressful

Correct article usage

a stressful

show examples

day

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

people

relaxation

Replace the word

relax

show examples

and mitigate

stress

Therefore

, less

stress

mean

Change the verb form

means

show examples

people

are

les

Correct your spelling

less

vulnerable to

get

Wrong verb form

getting

show examples

mental health issues namely, depression, and anxiety.

Bring

Wrong verb form

Bringing

show examples

people

together is another reason why we need

music

For example

, many

people

worldwide from different backgrounds and cultures attend Opera performances, which

mean

Correct subject-verb agreement

means

show examples

this

can contribute to

minimize

Wrong verb form

minimising

show examples

cultural differences among nations.

Consequently

less

Correct quantifier usage

fewer

show examples

cultural differences mean less discrimination and conflicts among

people

, which

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can spread peace around the world. When it comes to

type

Add an article

the type

show examples

music

, I totally believe international

music

is very important than traditional

music

To begin

with, international

music

allow

Change the verb form

allows

show examples

people

to experience a new culture and heritage.

For instance

, listening to Opera performances help

people

to experience

western

Capitalize word

Western

show examples

cultures, which

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can make

people

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

more likely to become open-mind to accept another culture.

Furthermore

, listening to

internationl

Correct your spelling

international

music

help

people

to learn foreign languages. To demonstrate, when I listen to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

USA

music

I can improve my listening skills in

English

Change the article

the English

show examples

language, which

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

me to learn

language

Add an article

a language

the language

show examples

Add an article

an entertainment

show examples

entertainment

Replace the word

entertaining

show examples

way.

As a result

, I believe international

music

can enhance

learning

Add an article

the learning

show examples

process of language.

To sum up

, From my perspective , there are diverse reasons why we need

music

such

as ,

mitigate

Wrong verb form

mitigating

show examples

stress

, and

bring

Wrong verb form

bringing

show examples

people

together, I totally think international

music

very significant than traditional

music

Submitted by faiz3177 on Fri Aug 11 2023

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Your opinion

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Your opinion

in some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? do you think it is a positive or negative situation?

There are several advantages to hosting an international sporting event. There are disadvantages too. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Millions of dollars are spent on research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standard on Earth. Do you agree or disagree.

Some people think it is better to grow up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside is more suitable. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places?

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one are of Britian. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distribiuted.