Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most experiences in our lives that seemed difficult at the time become valuable lessons for the future. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Some
people
argue that hardship will bring more valuable lessons for the future
, however
, other people
believe that the experiences have not been hard to bring a lesson. I personally believe that difficulties have more impact on self-development rather than easy ones. This
essay will explain both points of view with some reasons relating to this
topic.
To begin
, to be a human being who will grow every day, sometimes we have to face some difficulties. However
, we also
have many opportunities to experience moderate experiences, moreover
, we can succeed on some occasions. This
condition does not mean that we can not take the insight to support our future
. For example
, Indonesian kids experience that those who became a champion and class presidents have more confidence compared to other students, leading them to bravely face future
challenges. Subsequently
, I think that facing a moderate obstacle and becoming successful also
can bring value to the future
.
On the other hand
, hardships are not a choice for some people
, but it is obstacles that have to be done. However
, difficulties are more memorable compared to the average. Although
those conditions are never easy , some scientists believe that is
it more memorable and brings more self-improvement. To illustrate, students who had graduated from high school and did
not accepted to the university on their first try have better academic scores in university after they have been accepted. Verb problem
were
Although
they are being
late to be colleagues, they spend the gap year studying and doing self-improvement which leads them to become better students. Verb problem
apply
As a result
, I think that the pain to be failed
and Wrong verb form
failing
to be faced
hardships Wrong verb form
facing
motivate
Correct subject-verb agreement
motivates
people
to be better person
.
Fix the agreement mistake
people
To sum up
, average challenges can support the development of our confidence which is one of the most important characteristics if we want to have a brighter future
. But, being failed
Verb problem
failure
also
has become the main factor to motivate people
, especially to do self-correction that can help them to face the next challenges. However
, moderate and hardship experiences are not a
Correct article usage
apply
thing
that we can choose, so preparing ourselves and to Fix the agreement mistake
things
continue
develop ourselves is the key to our success.Add the particle
continue to
Submitted by yudhajatmiko94 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
grammar
Work on refining grammar and sentence structure for better readability and precision. For example, the sentence 'some scientists believe that is it more memorable and brings more self-improvement.' has a grammatical error and could be clearer.
structure
Provide clearer transitions between points to enhance the logical flow of your ideas. For instance, the leap from Indonesian kids' confidence to facing moderate obstacles could be connected more fluidly.
examples
Offer more specific and varied examples to support your points, which would strengthen the essay's argumentation. The current examples are good but expanding on them or adding new ones can make your argument even more compelling.
balance
The essay provides a balanced discussion by addressing both perspectives on the topic and clearly states the writer's opinion.
examples
There is a good attempt to use examples to support main points, such as mentioning Indonesian kids and students who had to retake exams.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the significance of preparing ourselves and continuous development.