IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Question: Some young children spend a great amount of their time practicing sports. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

#children #amount #time #sports #support
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A common saying is Health is Wealth.
Sports
Use synonyms
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
 a major role in the
gowth
Correct your spelling
growth
 of young
children
Use synonyms
. Though it has lots of advantages and
an
Add a missing verb
is an
show examples
 important part of our life still everything in excess is harmful.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
enlight
Wrong verb form
enlighten
show examples
 on both the aspects
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 its advantages and disadvantages. We all want our
children
Use synonyms
 to grow well and should be healthy and fit. There is no better way than the
sports
Use synonyms
. Kids playing
sports
Use synonyms
 and their interest in a particular game is the dream of every parent nowadays.
Sports
Use synonyms
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
 help you to stay fit but it
imporves
Correct your spelling
improve
 your mental health and
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 to have strong
athelatic
Correct your spelling
athletic
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
. Competition in any field is at
peak
Correct pronoun usage
its peak
show examples
 so as in
sports
Use synonyms
. Young kids
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 lots of
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 and spend their maximum
time
Use synonyms
 over there. Spending most of the
time
Use synonyms
 in
sports
Use synonyms
showing
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
 bad results as well,
children
Use synonyms
feeling
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
 more pressure and
anxity
Correct your spelling
anxiety
 to score better.
Childres
Correct your spelling
Children
show examples
also
Linking Words
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
 interest in their studies as well which is a big worry issue for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parents as well.
For example
Linking Words
, Our neighbour has a kid and plays
cricket
Use synonyms
. He is so addicted to playing
cricket
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 and
spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
most of
the
Change the word
his
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 on
Use synonyms
cricket
Correct article usage
the cricket
show examples
 field though
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 good as he is a good player and getting good
achievments
Correct your spelling
achievements
achievement
 in
cricket
Use synonyms
 but because of excessive playing his studies are getting affected. There are complaints from his school because of lower
attandance
Correct your spelling
attendance
. conc In conclusion,
It is clear that
Linking Words
 playing
sports
Use synonyms
 has many important and positive
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
 on our life but excessive
practicing
Replace the word
practice
show examples
 and spending more
time
Use synonyms
 on
field
Correct article usage
the field
show examples
unneccessiraly
Correct your spelling
unnecessarily
 is not recommended at all. Young
children
Use synonyms
 should manage their
time
Use synonyms
 and should make a balance
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
 and study.
Submitted by hiteshpaul on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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