IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The maps show the developments which took place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.

The maps show the developments which took place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.
The maps show the developments which took
place
Use synonyms
 at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.
Overall
Linking Words
, a comparison of
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 maps reveals
a changes
Correct the article-noun agreement
a change
changes
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 farmland and shopping
centre
Use synonyms
 over the years. In 1960, the hospital was built along the main road line and next to a shopping
centre
Use synonyms
.
Use synonyms
Car
Correct article usage
The car
show examples
park
Use synonyms
 took
place
Use synonyms
 behind the hospital,
while
Linking Words
farmland
Correct article usage
the farmland
show examples
 was in
area
Add an article
the area
show examples
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
located
Add a missing verb
is located
show examples
 behind the shopping
centre
Use synonyms
. In 1980, the shopping
centre
Use synonyms
 had knocked down,
in
Linking Words
contrast
Add the comma(s)
,contrast
show examples
 a cancer
centre
Use synonyms
 and a pharmacy
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 built
instead
Linking Words
.
Also
Linking Words
, the farmland turned into a nursing
school
Use synonyms
. By 2000, an
additinal
Correct your spelling
additional
 hospital building cancer
centre
Use synonyms
 took
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
place
Use synonyms
 of the nursing
school
Use synonyms
 and became three times larger than before. And in turn, the nursing
school
Use synonyms
 occupied half the
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 and the
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 was reduced by fifty percent. During
this
Linking Words
 period, there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 a number of changes like
creating
Replace the word
creation
show examples
 of
pharmacy
Correct article usage
a pharmacy
show examples
 and cancer
centre
Use synonyms
,
shopping
Add an article
the shopping
a shopping
show examples
centre
Use synonyms
 was knocked down and the nursing
school
Use synonyms
was took
Change the verb form
took
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half
place
Use synonyms
 of the
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words place, centre, car, park, school with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "knocked down" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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