IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many manufactured food and drinks products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugar products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drinks #products #levels #sugar #health #people
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Sugar
Use synonyms
 is one of the prime food substances which is used in our day-to-day life. It contains a plethora of disease to humans in packed
junk
Use synonyms
 meal and beverages,
as well as
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, it make us unhealthy. Selling prices of the product should be taxed high by the authorities so the population is motivated to consume it low.
However
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, I agree with
this
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 notion,
this
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 essay will delve into the topic that
this
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 is certainly a rational approach that needs to be opted
.
Change preposition
for.
show examples
 Admittedly, one of the prime factors behind
this
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 grave issue might be increasing obesity in society.
Moreover
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, people consume a lot of
junk
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 snacks and juices which contain high carbohydrates which leads to health issues.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that humans are interested in
junk
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 snacks and not taking nutrition-rich foods. To vindicate,
according to
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 Forbes magazine, it is reported that numerous IT company employees consume
junk
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 meat and drinks which causes carbohydrate and obesity problems to health. Probing ahead, another crucial fact is government supplies
this
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 product to humans.
Hence
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, the government should stop marketing harmful
sugar
Use synonyms
products
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.
Despite
Correct pronoun usage
thisDespite
show examples
, the authorities should encourage and motivate the population to use
sugar
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-free
products
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 and food.
Moreover
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, they should run a campaign to educate the awareness of
sugar
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-free
products
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 and nutrient-rich foods to people.
In addition
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, it should tax high on
products
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 which have highly sweet flavours in meals to stop people from consuming them.
For instance
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, citizens who consume manufactured food with high sweetness are facing a lot of health-related issues and they are really unfit.
To sum up
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,
according to
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 the arguments mentioned above ,
sugar
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 free-foods keep the population fit physically and mentally, the government should impose a high tax on carbohydrate meals and drinks, and one can reach the logical conclusion that the benefits of imposing a tax on
sugar
Use synonyms
 foods and drinks are indeed too great to ignore.
Submitted by fazilharis20 on

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