IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays,many people choose to be self-employed,rather than to work for a company or organisation.why might this be the case?what could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?

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These days an increasing number of
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to
work
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 as a self-employed person, rather than to be an employee of a
company
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. In my opinion, there are many factors contributing to that, like the desire
of having
Change preposition
to have
show examples
 a flexible
work
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 schedule and dreaming about becoming rich.
Although
Linking Words
 there are so many advantages to working as a freelancer, we should be more careful about the drawbacks,
such
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 as losing the ability to commit to a particular plan and having less
job
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 security compared to those who have a regular
job
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. There are many reasons why
people
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 want to
work
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 on their own.
Firstly
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, these days individuals are more concerned about their freedom, and some of them will not risk it for having a permanent
job
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 in a
company
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. You can take me as an example; I love to be able to travel whenever I get a chance, and I am convinced that if I settle for a secure, office
job
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, I will never be able to travel around the world, because I always will need to be present at
work
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 during the week. Another important reason is that we live in a culture in which everyone wants to be extremely wealthy, and it is obvious that working in an office does not provide you with that amount of money. It is
also
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 notable that public figures, who are rich and self-employed,
such
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 as Elon Musk, will exacerbate
this
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 situation. There are so many disadvantages to working as a self-employed individual. I believe that the most important problem with it is that
people
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 will lose the ability to commit to a certain plan. I imagine working independently requires a high level of discipline and consistency, which is not found in everyone.
In addition
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, if a person works for a
company
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, he will
be retired
Wrong verb form
retire
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 after 25 to 30 years, but
that is
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 not the case for self-employed ones.
Finally
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,
job
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 security is vital to most
people
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, and having an occupation in a
company
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 can provide you with that. In conclusion,
people
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 have different preferences about the type of
job
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 they want to have. Some want to be an employee of an organization,
whereas
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 some prefer self-employment. I, personally, think that wanting to be free and wealthy is the most important reason for that. I restate that working as a freelancer is not for everyone, it is a double-edged sword, either you will be successful, or you will lose all your time and money.

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task response
Ensure that your examples are relevant and specific to the prompt. Develop your main points with more details and examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas in a more coherent manner. Connect your ideas logically and use transition words to improve cohesion.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
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