IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #home #people #be #case #development
It's essential to think about why some
people
 tend to buy their houses in some regions
instead
 of renting a home. in
this
 essay, I will delve into the reasons and state my own opinion on
this
 matter. There are many reasons to consider why purchasing accommodation is better.
Firstly
,
People
 love to own things, it's the way we are created. It gives us the sense of security we are looking for.
Secondly
, an owned property can be bequeathed to the family members upon the death of the owner, so it will be a family property forever.
Also
, if we don't need the house anymore it can be rented to others and rent money can be used for paying the installments of a new home somewhere else.
In addition
, It's considered a custom to own a house in some regions.
This
 is because parents and grandparents have always either built or bought their homes.
For instance
, in Upper Egypt, almost every family owns a group of apartments and it's a shame to rent a home in the city,
people
 will look differently at you and you will be treated as an outsider with a strange attitude. In my personal opinion, I think that if all
people
 owned their houses it
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 be a disadvantage.
This
 is because some
people
 like to travel to other places for permanent work and have to sell their homes for cheap prices and
that is
 why renting may be better for
people
 on the move.
Furthermore
, the taxes collected from the owners are higher than those collected from the tenants. In conclusion, It can be reiterated that owning a house is a popular belief in some regions of the world. But I think it's
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
show examples
 to possess a property rather than
renting
Wrong verb form
rent
show examples
 one.
Submitted by islam_biologist on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but need to be more specific and impactful. Your main points are rather well supported, but your logical structure could be improved for better coherence.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response by addressing the reasons for owning a home instead of renting and stating your own opinion. The ideas are generally clear and comprehensive with relevant examples, although some points lack specificity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Homeownership
  • Property ladder
  • Real estate
  • Mortgage
  • Equity
  • Inflation hedge
  • Stability
  • Long-term investment
  • Asset
  • Liability
  • Housing market
  • Tenure
  • Down payment
  • Property taxes
  • Maintenance costs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: