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Band 4

The diagram below shows how instant noodles are manufactured.

The diagram below shows how instant noodles are manufactured.
#instant #noodles
Picture
Add an article
The picture
show examples
 shows how to make instant noodles with
step by
Add a hyphen
step-by-step
show examples
step
 guidance.
Overall
, there are total 8 stages associated
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
 making
process
 which required some ingredients, materials and technical stuff. Noodle making
process
 required certain steps to through before it comes as
final
Add an article
the final
a final
show examples
 product.
To begin
 with, need to store some flour at
initial
Correct article usage
the initial
show examples
 stage through
loading
Correct article usage
the loading
show examples
 vehicle and
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
step
Add a comma
,step
show examples
 these flour should be mixed with oil or water. For the next
step
, the mixture would be routed on dough sheets through
roller
Add an article
the roller
a roller
show examples
. Afterwards, it would convert into dough strips, and it would appear as noodles discs.
Furthermore
, now it is required to add cooking oil and
drying
Correct article usage
the drying
show examples
process
 comes into account.
In addition
, it has required to add vegetables and spices before putting
into
Correct pronoun usage
them into
show examples
 cups. It should
labelled
Change the verb form
be labelled
show examples
 once put into the cup.
Finally
Add a comma
,Finally
show examples
 the noodles are ready and
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 ready cups need to be sealed to complete
this
 making
process
.
Submitted by kintans54 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words step, process with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • mixing ingredients
  • dough preparation
  • sheeting
  • steaming
  • cutting techniques
  • dehydration
  • deep-frying
  • cooling system
  • packaging
  • quality control
  • production line
  • mass production
  • food preservation
  • convenience food
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