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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The circle charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
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 the percentage in conventional food of three various nutrients and if consumed in large quantity, it might be harmful.
Overall
Linking Words
, we observe that
although
Linking Words
 the usage of
sodium
Use synonyms
 is the most in dinner.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it was used the least
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 breakfast and
snacks
Use synonyms
. We have three different nutrients (
Sodium
Use synonyms
, Saturated fats and added sugar) used in the typical meals eaten by individuals in the USA. 43% of
sodium
Use synonyms
 is used in dinner which is the highest. Afterwards, 29% of it is used
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 lunch.
Similarly
Linking Words
, 14% of it is used for breakfast and
snacks
Use synonyms
. In comparison to that, if we look at the added sugar proportions, we find a
total
Change the word
totally
show examples
 opposite pattern.
While
Linking Words
 it is used the least in breakfast and lunch i.e., 16% and 19% respectively. At the same time, in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
snacks
Add a comma
,snacks
show examples
 the added sugar amount was 42%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, we
also
Linking Words
 have saturated fat, which is used in meals as well.
However
Linking Words
, it shows a very similar pattern as that of
sodium
Use synonyms
 yet we see a significant decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
fats
Change the noun form
fat
show examples
 usage in dinner (37%).
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it was used
21
Change preposition
in 21
show examples
%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
snacks
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 26%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
lunch
Fix the agreement mistake
lunches
show examples
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, snacks with synonyms.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • average percentages
  • nutrients
  • unhealthy
  • meal
  • typical meals
  • categories
  • high percentage
  • distribution
  • patterns
  • trends
  • nutrient-dense
  • data
  • comparison
  • summarize
  • reporting main features
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