The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.
The two graphs illustrate the stages of
production
of
cenment
Correct your spelling
cement
and concrete for construction aims.
Overall
, it is clear the
production
of
cement
beginning
Wrong verb form
begins
show examples
with mixing
limstone
Correct your spelling
limestone
and clay and
final
Correct article usage
the final
show examples
stage
is
put
Wrong verb form
putting
show examples
cement
in
bages
Correct your spelling
bags
.
On the other hand
, the
production
of concrete start with mixing
cement
with water and the final
stage
was
Correct article usage
the concerte
show examples
concerte
Correct your spelling
concrete
mixer. Regarding
production
Add an article
the production
show examples
of
cement
, the first
stage
was
mix
Fix the infinitive
to mix
show examples
limestone with clay and enter them
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
crusher
Correct article usage
a crusher
show examples
in order
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
convert
Change the verb form
converting
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
them to powder.
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
next
stage
, powder
enter
Change the verb form
enters
show examples
mixer
Correct article usage
the mixer
show examples
, and
pass
Correct subject-verb agreement
passes
show examples
through
Correct article usage
the rotatiog
show examples
rotatiog
Correct your spelling
rotating
rotation
heater in order to convert powder to grains.
Finally
,
grinder
Correct article usage
the grinder
show examples
convert
Change the verb form
converts
show examples
grians
Correct your spelling
grains
grain
to
cement
, and after that
cement
put
Add a missing verb
is put
show examples
in bags. When it comes to
production
Add an article
the production
show examples
of concrete, four elements
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
mix
Wrong verb form
mixed
show examples
with other. To illustrate, 15 % of
cement
with 10 % of water
mix
Wrong verb form
mixed
show examples
with 25 % sand and 50 % gravel and put the combination on
concrete
Correct article usage
a concrete
show examples
mixer.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words production, cement, stage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "illustrate" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • construction
  • cement-making
  • raw materials
  • crushing
  • mixing
  • heating
  • grinding
  • cement powder
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • concrete
  • versatility
  • strength
  • aggregate
What to do next:
Look at other essays: