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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value the quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Whether workers should prioritize an appropriate
appearance
Use synonyms
 at the workplace is a controversial concern in many companies. From my standpoint, I reckon both of these aspects can be done simultaneously.
To begin
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 with, had it not been for the smart dressing of employees, they would not have shown their respect to their senior managers.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that the politeness of workers will be apparently expressed which may clarify their seriousness toward their occupation and the company that they are working in.
Additionally
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, an elegant
appearance
Use synonyms
 plays a crucial role in creating an incredible impression on other co-workers which will enhance the effectiveness of team working.
According to
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 an observation of a company in Vietnam, since they have convinced their labour to dress appropriately at the workplace, the productivity of each department
is
Verb problem
has
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 increased significantly,
while
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 conflicts among them
are
Verb problem
have
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 decreased optimally.
On the other hand
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, the standard of work should indeed be concentrated rather than
appearance
Use synonyms
 as it is directly relevant to the
overall
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 efficiency of the organization.
Nevertheless
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, building suitable outfits before going to work does not assuredly provide a negative impact on the quality of the job undertaken. In fact, the smart attribute in dressing not only standardizes politeness but
also
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 focuses on the simplicity of the clothes.
As a result
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, an excellent worker will comprehend clearly how to dress sufficiently and be well-performed in their occupation at the same time. Taking everything into consideration, it is advisable for employees to concentrate on both productivity of work and
appearance
Use synonyms
. If they are encouraged to dress nicely,
this
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 will show their respect and politeness toward the company,
as well as
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 improve the efficiency of teamwork and reduce potential conflicts.

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task response
Ensure that the essay addresses all aspects of the task and provides a clear opinion on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the flow and organization of ideas by using cohesive devices and transitional phrases.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied expressions.
grammatical range
Work on using a wider range of sentence structures and grammar forms to express ideas more accurately.
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