We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#world #communities #countries

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It is true that assisting all needy

people

Use synonyms

is impossible globally,

instead

Linking Words

of it, our own society and countries should be taken care of. Personally, I believe that charity should begin at home,

subsequently

Linking Words

, giving help to other nations' needy would be relevant. On the one hand, across some countries, severe famine and no accommodation would be pervasive,

for example

Linking Words

, African countries can encounter these kinds of problems.

Therefore

Linking Words

, there are

fortunately

Rephrase

apply

show examples

several organizations which are designated to assist the homeless and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

patient

Fix the agreement mistake

patients

show examples

around the world.

Although

Linking Words

severe climate conditions contribute negatively to

people

Use synonyms

's lives,

such

Linking Words

as, the scarcity of drinking water and food

exists

Verb problem

apply

show examples

unfortunately

Add the comma(s)

unfortunately,

show examples

some climatic forces like

especially

Rephrase

apply

show examples

earthquakes, monsoons, and tsunami would take their toll on some nations' lifestyles.

As a consequence

Linking Words

of these natural disasters,

people

Use synonyms

would undergo poverty and famine. For these reasons, giving assistance to the poor around the world could be challenging and impossible.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, helping

people

Use synonyms

locally could be effective and inexpensive. First and foremost, sending financial aid for own society could facilitate the appalling conditions more efficiently by conserving time and energy. In detail, forwarding foodstuffs and warm clothes abroad would require transport, time and workforce; yet, dedicating

this

Linking Words

stuff to own country or nation could be inexpensive and straightforward.

Secondly

Linking Words

, most

people

Use synonyms

have a tendency that they cannot stand to be witness to poverty and famine in their own relatives or communities.

Thus

Linking Words

, they put efforts to support financially or try to supply accommodation for homeless compatriots. In conclusion, I think that local aid would be more beneficial rather than global ones

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coherence cohesion

Improve your coherence and cohesion by structuring your essay with clear introduction and conclusion, and ensure that your main points are logically connected throughout the essay.

task achievement

Work on providing a more complete response to the task, with a clearer introduction and conclusion, and make sure to include relevant specific examples to support your ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

global interconnectivity
international cooperation
ethics
moral obligation
geographical borders
diplomatic relations
economic stability
global security
resource allocation
expertise
international aid
dependency and development
sustainable solutions
local and global initiatives
community resilience

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We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Include an introduction and conclusion

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers- based on technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?

In some cities of the world, cars are replacing bicycles. However, in some cities, bicycle are replacing cars. What are the reason for this for these developments? In your opinion, which one is better?

In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partners discuss and give your own opinion.